I really want to be a SAHM with my 10 month old daughter, but my husband says we can’t afford it. I would like the peoples opinions/experience/advice on the situation.

My husband currently makes around $90,000 a year before taxes. I make roughly $70,000 before taxes. Our mortgage is currently $1,899 a month. We are currently paying my car off ($2500 extra a month) and should be finished with the payments by August. The only remaining debt we will have are my student loans (about $19,000, which he wants to go ahead and start putting $2000 extra a month towards after my car has been paid off) and our mortgage. Other than that, we have no other debt. No credit cards, personal loans, or anything else that needs to be paid off. After taxes, he brings home $5,000 a month.

If I quit work, we would be missing out on around $4,000 a month. But we also wouldn’t have to spend $1,100 on daycare. I would commit to cooking more and spending less money out. I’ve told him that many families have done it with a lot less money. I’ve also voiced that I would be willing to work just 2 days a week, so that still has me bringing in $2,000+ a month. I’m just sad that I’m missing this time with my daughter and really want to be there to help and watch her grow.

He really wants us to pay off my student loans as fast as possible and then save for us to move into a new house in a few years. I do know that would be hard to do without my income.

Is it unrealistic for me to think I could be a SAHM?

Edited to add that I am a dental hygienist, so my work is both physically and mentally exhausting.

Edited again to add that my car payment is only $500 a month, but we are paying an extra $2,000 currently to pay it off. So it’s not an actual $2,500 car payment🤣

For the past 8 years it’s like I’m not allowed to eat since becoming a mom. I can set up my kids with their own big plate of food, give them a new toy, let them play video games, let them play outside, anything. I have 1 coffee and 2 meals a day and am harassed and bothered each time. I eat very quickly probably 5 minutes each meal and it enrages me I’m not allowed 15-20 minutes a day. I feel like I’ve devoloped anxiety with eating because I’m constantly bothered even if I plan it down to a science. it’s just crazy how a basic human need is such a struggle. My kids eat so much all day long, tjey have everything. I’m not sure how to fix this. If they eat before or during they still bother me. if they are outside they bang on the back door where they can see me sitting at the table. Hard enough being a stay at home mom all these years, but I love food and I can’t enjoy anything. I’m only allowed to scroll on my phone for whatever reason they are okay with that. I hate scrolling on my phone. Any advice or anyone going through something similar?

My husband has an odd and vigorous schedule BUT he finally has a day off tomorrow, the stars are aligning, and I get to spend the morning out of the house.

All. Alone. *pause for the swoon*

I feel kind of overwhelmed and lost thinking about what to do just for/with myself! This is SUCH a gift.

I was a home body before kids, and social interaction drains me, but I also need to be out of the house for a while. My current thought is the local coffee shop and read for an hour or two, but I’d love to hear ideas on how any other introverts might fill their cup while getting out of the house.

(p.s. it’s cold here)

My oldest turns 21 next month.

My youngest is in middle school.

I’ve had ups & downs but I’ve I’ve been very fortunate to be a stay at home mom all these years.

What would you like to know?

I’m interested in buying a wagon but I just don’t know if it’s overkill when I have a nice stroller and back cary a lot. This group has always had great advice so I thought I’d ask for some real world advice. My daughter just turned 18 months. We go on morning stroller walks and If I know I’ll be out for more than 4 hours. Shes not walking yet. Maybe in the next two months. Do you buy a wagon if you go to the zoo, festivals, beach a lot? Just trying to be really about when I would use it before asking my husband to drop money on a wagon since I have a $1.6 k stroller system

I’ve been really struggling lately, feeling extra exhausted and nothing seems to help. I’ve been yelling at my kids extra and I hate to admit it but the yelling has been pretty bad. Their fighting and whining just sets me off and I can’t handle it right now. I’m a sahm but partner works away for extended periods of time. So I’ve been solo parenting for the last couple weeks. Thankfully I do have my family and I’ve been hanging out at my parents for literally the last week now because I can’t handle being by myself but that hasn’t seemed to help much either because as soon as I get home, I instantly get set off again. I’m just so exhausted and I don’t know how to get better.

My fiancé and I are planning to buy a new house soon and we are torn on whether to move out to the country or within a small town neighborhood.

We plan to have kids in the next few years and I plan to be a stay at home mom.

We would personally prefer to be in the country but are trying to plan realistically for myself and future child.

I'm wondering if being out in the country would get lonely and bored if I'm home all day by myself. Also for the future if my child would be bored. I remember being a kid in a neighborhood and loving that I could walk or bike to do things.

Any input is greatly appreciated 🙏🏻

Happy day Mamas! Keeping this short and sweet!
If and specifically how did you ask your husband for support in the potty training process? Or, was there anyone else who supported you, and if so, how?

Thank you in advance!!!

I need some real talk, shared experiences, and genuine support. I’m AuDHD so please keep responses kind — negative comments genuinely affect my anxiety for days and I want this to be a safe space to share.
Here’s where I’m at.
I’ve had 5 promotions in 6 years without a college degree, managing chronic illness the whole time. I’ve been the breadwinner for the 10 years I’ve been with my husband. I’m good at what I do and I mostly enjoyed it. But I was driving 50 miles a day while my 4 year old keeps growing up, and it became completely unsustainable — constant chaos, no respect for hours contributed, and a bullying situation with a peer that HR refused to address. My body, my mental health, and my family were paying for it. Literally. Not only am I AuDHD, but I suffer from hEDS, spondylosis, SI Joint Dysfunction, POTS, and am in constant pain. Not little pain. Hard to move pain. 2 surgeries in 4 years pain.
My husband recently got a promotion that doubled his salary. We’re also in a place financially we’ve never been before — paid off all non-mortgage debt, finally have some breathing room after years of hardship including a natural disaster where we almost lost everything, and a long insurance battle we recently won.
We talked about it, a lot and for over a year. He’s fully supportive, not even surprisingly so. He’s amazing, and he’s everything to me. We’ve literally fought any battle in life you can think of, with each others love and support. Devastating things most couples never have to experience. There’s no doubt in my marriage. But I’ve been acting on fight or flight mode for too long. I’ve reached a level of burnout that I’ve never experienced before.
Now, after quitting, the panic is settling in. I know the moneys there, I know we can do it and still save money. But, wow… we could be so well off if I was bringing in that 90k that would basically go straight into savings. So there’s huge guilt. But there’s also the panic. And again, I’m autistic. So my brain is reacting how it knows how. I’m feeling all sorts of ways.
I’m keeping my daughter in daycare 3.5 days a week because she’s a social butterfly and I’m not taking that from her. But I’m not sure where to begin on EVERYTHING else.
What did you do first? What do you wish someone had told you?

So our youngest has cystic fibrosis and is constantly needing treatments breathing treatments twice a day meds with every meal and daily meds as well... we just found out he has also developed childhood diabetes (we knew it was coming eventually) my husband's job has mandatory Over Time going on and hes gone for 5-6 days a week from before we wake up until bed time for the kids and when he gets home hes falling asleep almost immediately (understandably so his is a very physically demanding job) insurance wont cover help coming in... my eldest isnt old enough due to local laws (understandable but sure would be nice to have help for even just one treatment a day) so called "friends" locally only willing to help in extreme emergencies (as in youngest being hospitalized) my family isnt local and my husband's is too wrapped up in his sister's kids (sister is the golden child in the family) ladies at church always say to ask for help anytime but whenever I do suddenly none are able to help... and to top it all off our only toliets pump decided to start spraying water all over the place and I stupidly opened it to try and fix it without shutting off the water so now I'm sitting on the bathroom floor covered in toliet water after bawling my eyes out... my youngest came toddler over and crawled into my lap and all I can think of is at least the water is from the tank not the bowl... anywho moms in similar positions how on earth are you surviving? Eta: my husband does absolutely help on his days off just during the long weeks of no help

The past 5 days my 4 month old has had a pretty bad cough and has had bad mucus and been really stuff and ive been experiencing the same symptoms as him. We woke up at 4am because I could tell he was having trouble breathing because of the mucus and his Nose being stuffy.

I simply got him up changed his diaper grabbed the Aspirator and the nose sucher to help him feel better. Came back to the room then played in bed with my son. He coughed a couple time then my Husband started to roll over and look at me a proceeded to tell me I need to take vitamins to help him out as much as my self then just stared at my while I was taking care of our son and didn't help me with him at all, then my Husband fell asleep.

I took our son and walked out of the room and walk to our sons room to continue to take care of our son.

In context I am a stay at home mom that lives in a very small town and the 2 nearby town are both 15 minutes away. Our nearest City is a hour.

I dont have friends or family near by so if I do go see them its me driving up to see them which is a hour away in SA, TX.

I feel I dont get enough help from my husband with our son. I understand he's working for our family, to make sure to put a roof over our head and more. Hes an amazing provider and im so greatful for him every single day. I am just having a hard time with him criticizing me about what I need to do when im doing my best every single day. I take care of our son do all the mothering things for him, take care of the house, cook dinner every night and still im not doing enough.

I barely been able to take care of my self because having a child is a full time job and it rare for me to be able to do things for my self like simply taking a shower, or eating a meal, brushing my teeth or hair. I am trying to prioritize my time and so I can do the simple things for my self. Its really hard to do so when I dont have help. My Husband help where he feels he can but the spane of time is 30 to 45 minutes until he finds an excuse to do something other then help me.

I feel so alone on this and I know Im probably not I am honestly just feeling so defeated at the moment. He criticizing me on what I need to do and more then proceeds to asked me what else I can do for our house and our child. I am kinda at a loss and definitely feeling alone.

Is it just me, or am I getting to much in my head about it?

I’ve had such a hard time feeling motivated to actually make dinners. Ive got myself in such a slump, I’ve just been going over to my parents every night because I can’t bring myself to make dinner. I’m so exhausted by the end of the day with making breakfast, cleaning up from breakfast, cleaning up my kids mess, lunch… but I’m tired of lugging my kids over to my parents and want to get back into an actual routine. Any help appreciated!

Hello,

I want some recommendations for items (bouncers, teethers, baby items, mommy items) that made taking care of a baby a little easier or something your baby loved. I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old and I’m a SAHM I’m drowning any recommendations would help!

It’s period week and I feel like just melting into my couch and sleeping for a week. I don’t want to be bothered, touched, or move. I’m nauseous, cramping, short fused and really struggling to get things done. I do struggle with anxiety and depression and am on medication for it. But does anyone else ever feel like this? Is there anything I can do to help myself feel better? I hate feeling like this. My kids deserve better.

Edit: also if you can recommend snacks/meals that are good for this week I’d appreciate that as well! Junk and nutritional 😂

I'm fairly new to Reddit. I just discovered this group today and already feel so heard and seen after reading a few posts. I want to say to all SAHMs that you’re amazing and that your feelings and experiences are completely valid. In case no one has told you this today: Thank you all for everything you do!

Hey moms! I’m a fellow SAHM, and my husband and I are looking to move to Raleigh, NC soon!

Curious which suburb(s) you’d recommend for a family with tots that values safety, affordability and a strong sense of community. I’ve done a bit of research and it’s hard to choose one suburb over another it seems. Excited to hear about personal experiences.

Thanks so much!! 💗

Hi! Our LO is almost 11 months old and she’s has cradle cap for about 8 months now. We’ve continuously asked her pediatrician what to do for it but they wave it off as no big deal.. we’ve tried prescription ketoconazole shampoo, happy cappy shampoo, selsun blue and other creams and all the brushes galore. It’s yet to go away, and when we feel like it’s improving, it comes back. I’m starting to wonder if it’s not even cradle cap and a more severe form of dermatitis but the pediatrician has brushed that thought off, too. Has anyone else dealt with this?? A product I should try??? I feel so sorry for our LO’s poor little scalp!! Thanks!!!

Trying to start working out more and getting my children outside more. Autism and adhd mom so I need a wagon for security. I don’t care about price as long as it’s worth it. I’ve been looking at the wander fold, especially the new one that’s 1k. Just weighing my options before purchasing. I’ve had the Jeep wrangler wagon wasn’t enough room and quality wasn’t too good. If you’ve had the wander fold leave a honest review or comment your wagons. Thanks!

I am a 32 year old first time mom with 16 month old twins who now take one nap. I am tired of spending the whole time on my phone. What are some recommendations for shows or books that other moms are into right now? Also curious how other moms spend nap time.

La verdad es que no sé si busco consejos o solo conocer otras experiencias. Estoy embarazada de 36 semanas, ha sido un embarazo difícil porque me he sentido enferma todo este tiempo, además tengo colestasis por lo que lo mas probable es que tenga a mi segunda hija la próxima semana. Tengo también una hija de 2 años, es un amor, divertida, tierna pero comenzó con sus primeros berrinches en las cosas que antes se nos hacían más fáciles, la hora de comer ( por qué quiere sentarse en cualquier parte) el cambio de pañal, y así… todo cuesta un montón. El resto del día está todo bien con ella. Me angustia un poco pensar en cómo lo voy a hacer con las dos. Con mi primera hija no tenía nada de ayuda nunca. Ahora estoy más cerca de mi familia y vendrán una persona a ayudarme algunas veces a la semana ( con cosas más domésticas) . Estoy muy feliz de ahora poder contar con un poco de ayuda, pero tengo miedo de lo que es lidiar con una niña de dos años y otra recién nacida que necesitan mucho de mi.

Alguien en una situación parecida? Cómo sobreviven? Cuéntenme sus rutinas o experiencias por favor para calmar esta ansiedad. Gracias!!!

I have a seven year old who frequently gets sick during the year. She started school last year so I figured it was because she was being exposed to other kids and germs. The month of February she has been sick 3 different times . Some mild cold, rsv, and now she has a fever again . I’m honestly at a loss , she’ll be ok for a day or two and then be sick with something else. My question is , is this normal ? Do seven year old get sick a lot ? Because I’m not sure if I’m overthinking and should get her tested or is this part of growing up.

Hi! I’m currently homeschooling but I’m looking for something with more structure and support.

I have a child with ADHD and I really want her to stay home and learn, but I need more help. I’m basically looking for something where she can go to school… but from home, with actual teachers teaching live, not just computer-based work.

I’ve been researching a few options and would love honest reviews or experiences with any of these:

• Enlightium Academy

• Bridgeway Academy

• Optima Academy Online

• Amazing Stars Academy United

• Tutors To Go

If you’ve used any of these (or something similar), I’d really appreciate hearing:

• How structured it is

• If there are real live teachers

• How it works for kids with ADHD

• If it actually takes pressure off the parent

• Cost vs value

I’m open to other recommendations too. I just don’t want something fully self-paced where I have to do everything myself.

Thank you!

If nobody has told you today.... You’re doing a great job 👏

Being a mum is hard and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Ever since I read about Caroline Flack and Robbin Williams I've always made it my mission to try and be that little kinder. Nobody knows what someone is going through.

We could all do with a bit of kindness. So here's mine to you reading this 🤍

You're doing a great job! Be proud of yourself! If today is hard there's ALWAYS tomorrow 💜

I spend most of my "meal making energy" on breakfast and dinners, so I usually just default most days to PB&J or chicken nuggets for lunch with the occasional box of Mac and cheese bc I don't have a lot of energy to make another whole big meal.

Does anyone have some good simple ideas that aren't these?

Advice/ideas wanted

My daughter is 5 months old. She had her first diaper rash at 2 days old. She gets them atleast every other week and they get so bad they blister and bleed. I feel like an awful mom! I swear I change her every 2 hours and every hour when she has a rash. Today we went to the dr and they finally prescribed anti bacterial cream. This is my 3rd child and none of my other kids struggled like this. I think she is having a hard time with diapers. Iv tried pampers, Costco, hello bello, and milli moon and honest. They have all given her rashes. I use water wipes, I give her oatmeal baths, I let her sit naked every day. Can anyone recommend hypoallergenic diapers that are actually absorbant? Or any other advice or something to try. Shes also already on hypoallergenic formula. What am I doing wrong?! What can I do different?!