r/shortstories 8d ago

[Serial Sunday] DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Welcome to Serial Sunday!

To those brand new to the feature and those returning from last week, welcome! Do you have a self-established universe you’ve been writing or planning to write in? Do you have an idea for a world that’s been itching to get out? This is the perfect place to explore that. Each week, I post a theme to inspire you, along with a related image and song. You have 500 - 1000 words to write your installment. You can jump in at any time; writing for previous weeks’ is not necessary in order to join. After you’ve posted, come back and provide feedback for at least 1 other writer on the thread. Please be sure to read the entire post for a full list of rules.


This Week’s Theme is Doom! This is a REQUIREMENT for participation. See rules about missing this requirement.**

Image

Bonus Word List (each included word is worth 5 pts) - You must list which words you included at the end of your story (or write ‘none’).
- Damsel
- Daring
- deity
- Somebody is overly dramatic. - (Worth 10 points)

Doom. It is onomatopoeia for the end of all things. Doom.

The last door to close, the lid of your coffin slammed shut. Doom. It is the sudden, shocking sound before the eternal silence. The final knell of the mortal bell that rings with the echoing tone of,

DOOM.

Doom is a mood. But everything ends, sooner or later.

What things will perish in your chapter this week? Will a delicious snack meet its doom in the belly of our protagonist? Or will a forlorn hope of romance be crushed?

Or perhaps an unexpected meteor will introduce your serial to the fate of the dinosaurs, after all.

Whatever the case, we look forward to reading whatever carnage you wreak upon your story this week.

By u/AGuyLikeThat

Good luck and Good Words!

These are just a few things to get you started. Remember, the theme should be present within the story in some way, but its interpretation is completely up to you. For the bonus words (not required), you may change the tense, but the base word should remain the same. Please remember that STORIES MUST FOLLOW ALL SUBREDDIT CONTENT RULES. Interested in writing the theme blurb for the coming week? DM me on Reddit or Discord!

Don’t forget to sign up for Saturday Campfire here! We start at 5pm GMT and provide live feedback!


Theme Schedule:

This is the theme schedule for the next month! These are provided so that you can plan ahead, but you may not begin writing for a given theme until that week’s post goes live.

  • May 24 - Doom

  • May 31- Entrenched

  • May 7- Foreign

  • June 14 - Great

  • June 21 - Heartless

Check out previous themes here.


 


Rankings

Last Week: Cry


Rules & How to Participate

Please read and follow all the rules listed below. This feature has requirements for amparticipation!

  • Submit a story inspired by the weekly theme, written by you and set in your self-established universe that is 500 - 1000 words. No fanfics and no content created or altered by AI. (Use wordcounter.net to check your wordcount.) Stories should be posted as a top-level comment below. Please include a link to your chapter index or your last chapter at the end.

  • Your chapter must be submitted by Saturday at 2:00pm GMT. Late entries will be disqualified. All submissions should be given (at least) a basic editing pass before being posted!

  • Begin your post with the name of your serial between triangle brackets (e.g. <My Awesome Serial>). When our bot is back up and running, this will allow it to recognize your pmserial and add each chapter to the SerSun catalog. Do not include anything in the brackets you don’t want in your title. (Please note: You must use this same title every week.)

  • Do not pre-write your serial. You’re welcome to do outlining and planning for your serial, but chapters should not be pre-written. All submissions should be written for this post, specifically.

  • Only one active serial per author at a time. This does not apply to serials written outside of Serial Sunday.

  • All Serial Sunday authors must leave feedback on at least one story on the thread each week. The feedback should be actionable and also include something the author has done well. When you include something the author should improve on, provide an example! You have until Saturday at 04:59am GMT to post your feedback. (Submitting late is not an exception to this rule.)

  • Missing your feedback requirement two or more consecutive weeks will disqualify you from rankings and Campfire readings the following week. If it becomes a habit, you may be asked to move your serial to the sub instead.

  • Serials must abide by subreddit content rules. You can view a full list of rules here. If you’re ever unsure if your story would cross the line, please modmail and ask!

 


Weekly Campfires & Voting:

  • On Saturdays at 5pm GMT, I host a Serial Sunday Campfire in our Discord’s Voice Lounge (every other week is now hosted by u/FyeNite). Join us to read your story aloud, hear others, and exchange feedback. We have a great time! You can even come to just listen, if that’s more your speed. Grab the “Serial Sunday” role on the Discord to get notified before it starts. After you’ve submitted your chapter, you can sign up here - this guarantees your reading slot! You can still join if you haven’t signed up, but your reading slot isn’t guaranteed.

  • Nominations for your favorite stories can be submitted with this form. The form is open on Saturdays from 5:30pm to 04:59am GMT. You do not have to participate to make nominations!

  • Authors who complete their Serial Sunday serials with at least 12 installments, can host a SerialWorm in our Discord’s Voice Lounge, where you read aloud your finished and edited serials. Celebrate your accomplishment! Authors are eligible for this only if they have followed the weekly feedback requirement (and all other post rules). Visit us on the Discord for more information.  


Ranking System

Rankings are determined by the following point structure.

TASK POINTS ADDITIONAL NOTES
Use of weekly theme 75 pts Theme should be present, but the interpretation is up to you!
Including the bonus words 5 pts each (15 pts total) This is a bonus challenge, and estnot required!
Including the bonus constraint 15 (15 pts total) This is a bonus challenge, and not required!
Actionable Feedback 5 - 15 pts each (60 pt. max)* This includes thread and campfire critiques. (15 pt crits are those that go above & beyond.)
Nominations your story receives 10 - 60 pts 1st place - 60, 2nd place - 50, 3rd place - 40, 4th place - 30, 5th place - 20 / Regular Nominations - 10
Voting for others 15 pts You can now vote for up to 10 stories each week!

You are still required to leave at least 1 actionable feedback comment on the thread every week that you submit. This should include at least one specific thing the author has done well and one that could be improved. *Please remember that interacting with a story is not the same as providing feedback.** Low-effort crits will not receive credit.

 



Subreddit News

  • Join our Discord to chat with other authors and readers! We hold several weekly Campfires, monthly World-Building interviews and several other fun events!
  • Try your hand at micro-fic on Micro Monday!
  • Did you know you can post serials to r/Shortstories, outside of Serial Sunday? Check out this post to learn more!
  • Interested in being a part of our team? Apply to be a mod!
     


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6

u/wandering_cirrus 2d ago

<Unburied Ashes>

Chapter 23: In the Weasel’s Den

After settling the bill, Mica followed Feld out of the Corral. She faltered before the open door. Feld stood naturally, halted and holding the portal wide.

“Weren’t you leading?” Mica asked, confused. “I’m not familiar with Weasel’s place.”

Feld gestured. “After you.”

“You know I’m not some etiquette-demanding noble damsel—”

“Oh dear.” Mirth danced in her tone, and she grinned. “But my occupational hazard demands I hold the door for ladies.”

Mica blushed. “I’m not…” Suddenly she could feel the gazes on them multiply. They weren’t hostile or calculating—not like the scrutiny she was used to—but she’d come here as Mica, and those warm and gossipy stares burned across her skin without that extra layer of false identity to protect her. The only escape was forwards.

She took it.

She set their pace at a clip, hoping the wind would blow away her cheeks’ risen color. Feld’s soft chuckle and the sharp click of boots against the cobbles followed. Fighting the urge to skirt into the deserted side streets, Mica brought the conversation back to business. “Any other sense you could make of the diary?”

Catching up, Feld shrugged. “I recognized his usual schedule, but nothing much new. The strangest entries involved Count Azbar and that Fulsome Dove. The meeting was recurring, tracked every Tuesday for the last year. And more concerning was that I never knew about it.”

“He hid it from you?”

“His Highness never forgave me for replacing his old guard.” Her nose wrinkled with disgust. “He wanted the assignment overturned, but the queen wouldn’t budge. So he always tried to find excuses to kick me out for a few hours. It never struck me as unusual that he invariably found a reason for an early guard shift change around dusk-bell on Tuesdays.”

Mica caught the essence. “He must’ve known you’d try to stop or report it, and it’s too difficult to sneak away under your watch. I should know. I’ve tried. And you think Weasel might know more?”

“He knows more than me.” The guard’s steps stopped in front of a neat door set into the brickwork. “We’re here.”

The brass doorknocker clattered loudly. Seconds spun out into a long minute. The hinges squealed. An eye appeared within the dark sliver of the opening.

“Feld?” A voice croaked. Hoarse, scratchy. “Is that you?”

“It’s me.”

The door creaked wider, revealing the hunched outline of a wiry man. Darting eyes half-hidden behind a pair of glasses raked the street. “Well,” he urged. “Come in!”

The man quickly herded them into a dark sitting room, where he plopped on a small sofa. A jerk of the head indicated Mica. “Who’s she?”

Feld pressed her lips together in annoyance. “I’ve been well, thanks for asking.”

“Who’s she?” he insisted.

An angry huff. “An assistant of sorts. She’s been helping with the prince’s case.”

“She must not be very smart, then. Only idiots like you involve themselves with the affairs of dead men.”

“He’s not dead yet.”

Yet.”

As the patter of conversation filled the room, Mica frowned. Today’s sun had shone unusually hot for this season, baking shirt collars and sleeves into disarray. She didn’t find it unbearable herself—all but the most scorching days felt chilly compared to her world of heat and ashes—but she'd twitched her sleeves upwards in a conscious attempt to blend in. Even Feld had attempted to cool off, cuffs folded upwards with military precision. But Weasel…

The right sleeve was stretched firmly to his wrist, bound close and tight by a length of fabric pretending to be his shirt.

“Isn't it hot?” she asked suddenly.

The man flinched. “Huh? Oh yes, sweltering.” He wiped the sweat beading at his brow, tugged uselessly at the cuff of his secured sleeve.

Feld spoke, dragging Weasel’s attention back to her. “You were telling me why you quit.”

“What else,” he grumbled, his suspicious stare leaving Mica. “The prince’s temper was getting worse.” Quietly, Mica slid away from his vision, drifting towards the edges of the room. “Last month—you weren’t there, he’d locked you out again—he threw a nasty tantrum. Slashed the furniture with a sword, personal magic sending wind and paper flying everywhere. Dumped a pitcher of wine over everything else. The queen had to replace the lot from her own storage. You wouldn’t believe the screaming match.”

Mica’s steps brought her noiselessly behind Weasel. If he’d been more observant, he might have noticed Feld’s eyes flicker with brief concern as Mica drew close and produced a dagger.

She met those eyes boldly. Trust me, she mouthed.

“And not a week ago, he threw a bottle at my head after another row with the Marquise Devay. It was time to quit.” A jittery hand scratched his right earlobe.

Mica snatched his wrist, a single slice cutting through the excess fabric. A yank pulled the now-freed sleeve up.

The stench of rot.

A bruise the length of his forearm shifted and swam, formed and festered in succession.

Squirming emptiness given flesh.

Something primal shuddered up through Mica, something sharp, intense. It almost felt like Magic—almost, except this sensation came from within, not without. Her stomach twisted, clenched, leaving Mica gasping to keep it—whatever it was—down.

Weasel tore his wrist from her now-slack grip. “Feld, I don’t like your new assistant. Even the Deity Below has better manners.”

Worry wrinkled the guard’s forehead. “Weasel? What’s going on?”

He slumped, frenetic energy seeping out. “They called it a cursemark. And I can feel it killing me.”

They?” Feld pressed. “Who? How?”

“Can’t remember.”

“Liar,” Mica murmured.

“Am not! It was just there when I woke up.”

“Not how.” She scoffed. “Who. You know who, and you’re hiding it because you’re afraid of your straightforward friend charging in and getting a matching set.”

Weasel’s eyes widened.

“I don’t do charging,” she promised. “She won’t leave my sight.”

Hesitation.

“Weasel,” Feld begged.

He relented. “It was those bastards from the Fulsome Dove. And part of the real reason I quit.”


WC: 998
Bonus words: damsel, deity
Bonus constraint: Mica has an overly dramatic reaction to Feld holding the door for her.
Theme: The cursemark spells Weasel’s doom.

Previous Chapter - Chapter Index - Next Chapter

4

u/Live-Albatross-1090 2d ago

hello hello,
So first of all, this is great. I sadly didn‘t have the time to read all the previous Chapters, but I wasn‘t left confused and could follow this chapter without much of a problem. And I really can‘t wait to see where this is going.
I do have a couple of questions:
First, now this is because I havn‘t read the previous chapters but Feld is a woman right? Because I wasn‘t entirely sure.
I also didn‘t really understand what you meant with:
“Squirming emptiness given flesh.“
I‘m not really sure how the bruise or mark is supposed to look like.

Additionally, once you called it a mark and once a bruise. Maybe now, this is probably entirely based on my preference, just calling it either of those is a little nicer to read. (Again this is totally my preference and nothing necessary.)

Another thing I noticed was:
The stench of rot.
I wasn‘t entirely sure of what to do with this information because normally a sleeve doesn‘t really cover up stench yet maybe we have magic at play here too.
Additionally you could put something like : The stench of rot hit the air or arose or hit her nose or something because I wasn‘t really sure what was up with the stench if you know what it means.

I love the ending. I really want to find out what the complete real reason for quitting was.
Good words!

1

u/wandering_cirrus 1d ago

Hiya Albatross and thanks for the crit!

I'm glad you weren't confused! I'm jumping back into writing this after a long hiatus myself, so I if you're not confused as a first-time serial reader, then hopefully I haven't confused the people who are coming back to it after a few months either!

First of all, yes, you're right that Feld is a woman. I think the confusion might have popped up from the fact that I had her adhere to what is more traditionally seen as masculine chivalry in the beginning of this chapter? But she is very much a woman and identifies as such.

Re: the bruise/cursemark. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how "squirming emptiness given flesh" would look either, I think I wrote that bit at like 12 or 1am? But it does sound nice when you say it! Shall note it down though as a potential confusion source. However, I will say that the transition from "bruise" to "cursemark" was a conscious choice. Before it was identified, Mica doesn't know what it is, and the closest thing she can think of is a bruise. Then later, Weasel properly identifies it as a cursemark, and Mica now has a word for it. I've chosen a narration style that's colored very strongly by how Mica sees the world (even though the story isn't told in first person), so the word used in the narrative reflects Mica's understanding and gets updated in real time. Some third person narratives are much less colored by the main character's thoughts and emotions, though, so this would have been an oversight if that were the case (there's a lovely blog post that goes into the weeds about points of view and specifically has a section on "distance" which is what I'm talking about here if you're curious)!

Lastly, I'll make a note about the stench bit. I didn't really have to words left to do much here, but might be something to play with if/when I go back and edit.

2

u/Live-Albatross-1090 1d ago

Hello Circus?  That sounds great. 

Yeah I think that is why I got confused in the beginning a little. 

Thank you for clarifying that the switch is intentional, it does make a lot of sense especially since I have your explanation. 

Yeah I do actually like the line squirming emptiness, I just wasn’t sure what it looks like. Would have loved it if you had an entire picture in your head - yet then it kind of wouldn’t be emptiness wouldn’t it? 🤣 And I‘ll definitely check that blog  post. 

Yeah I wasn’t entirely sure if I should mention that since I noticed that you only have like 2 words left. But thought maybe in case you want to edit it for yourself it might be helpful. 

2

u/ZLErikson 1d ago

Howdy Doody!

Short on time, so only gonna highlight some things.

Love this part:

“Oh dear.” Mirth danced in her tone, and she grinned. “But my occupational hazard demands I hold the door for ladies.”

Mica blushed.

Fantastic line:

“She must not be very smart, then. Only idiots like you involve themselves with the affairs of dead men.”

2

u/wandering_cirrus 1d ago

Hehe, I'm glad you caught my shipbait and that it had the intended effect >:)