I don’t want to make a mockery of this traumatic experience because it’s has been the darkest period of my life & don’t wish this upon anyone but this is jus my experience of psychosis & insanity which equal’s me trauma dumping.

So, for 5 years being in a state of psychosis/insanity because of brain injuries. It lasted from 2019 to early 2025/late 2024. I’m finally now getting my memory back in 2026 so a long journey.

First 3/4 years of it I don’t remember at all.
I kept having seizures & kept going in & out of a state of insanity. Every time I had a seizure it was so traumatic that I would end up in a state of psychosis + I would fall & end up with a new concussion with every single seizure.

Hundreds of seizures & 50+ recorded concussions (cause my house is surrounding with cameras) some of the footage is truly disturbing or brutal. Every time I had a seizure I would fall straight forward face to the ground or straight backwards skulls hitting the concrete. I’m tall so every time I would fall straight on my head it’s like a baseball bat in me in the skull.

All of that was taking place because of trauma to the brain, brain juries & then I kept having more & more brain damage. Because every time you have a seizure the seizure itself give’s you brain damage + me keep ending up concussions over & over again non stop impacts directly to my skull.

Then my doctor put me on seizure medication ‘Keppra’ which sent me into a state of worst type of insanity & I started hitting myself in the skull & chest which are two areas effected the most to begin with. My brain injury was caused in a fight which the cops called “random act of violence” was jumped/attacked by 3 people at once.

There’s a lot more to this experience but I can’t publicly state everything. I’m just stating surface level experience.

My last seizure was the last day of 2024 & been seizure free since then but I’ll never be the same again. It’s still going to take years for me to feel somewhat “normal” & be able to function in society like work & pay bills. Be independent. But I’m truly starting from scratch. My blank is blank. I forgot everything which means my entire life which includes my entire personality itself even down to hobbies. I can’t even tell you what my favorite foods are.

I used to speak 6 languages. English is my 6th language not 1st, or even the 2nd lol but somehow my brain has took English (which I’m not the best in to begin with) & made it my native language. I forgot all other languages & can only speak English. I barely speak my native languages & can no longer read or write in them. Sometimes I have zero accent in English. Sometimes I have an accent!

I still have short term memory loss & I need a gps in my own city. 1.5+ years of being seizure free so I’m allowed to drive again. So I have been doing gig work like deliveries to survive. I used to make or actually my best years financially were $280K a year but now I’m barely able to make (depending on how busy it is) $300 to $500 a week.

Lost all my life skills.
I have noticed that teenagers have more life skills than me. I used to fix things around the house, work on cars but now I can’t even put air in my car’s tires. Yes, it’s truly that bad. Not only I forgot / lost all my knowledge, all my life skills, I lost all the people too. Friends, women, everyone’s gone… as far as associates goes I run into them once in awhile & they recognize me but I don’t recognize them. They don’t know what happened with me so they’re always like ‘hey Mozie where you been’ & I’m always ‘like I’m so so sorry I don’t remember who you are. I lost my memory from an injury can you please remind me’ lol it’s just so awkward specially for them.
I do see people who I used to be friends with in public, I recognize around 20/30 of them & I know they recognize me but they ignore me. Look away & pretend as if they don’t see me.
It’s all good though.
No biggie.
Because I know people change, their life changes & priorities change.

While in psychosis I couldn’t watch/enjoy or get into any form of entertainment. Because of my memory loss I don’t remember what were my favorites movies or tv shows.

I didn’t just lose my mind
I lost everything
My ability to function, my memory, my past, my businesses & every single friends I had.
All gone. My social life destroyed & life long trauma came to the surface & that’s all I have now.

Vision issues.
Because of so much skull trauma my vision is heavily affected. My vision is full of floaters & I lost 70% of the vision in my left eye. Also, my entire life I have been terrified of reptiles. Something about lizards & cold blooded animals is icky to me. They make me cringe & while im pyschosis shadows, floaters would all look like snakes & lizards on the corners of my eyes so I would be walking around terrified.

Sometimes during my psychosis & I don’t know how long this went on for I would randomly smell apples everywhere or the smell of burning plastic in the middle of the night. So I would waking up in the middle of the night started scaring myself smelling walls because I thought wires with rubber or plastic on them were on fire in the walls. Like me trying to find the source of the smell but it wasn’t real.

Because I was experiencing insanity I couldn’t explain to my doctors that was experiencing insanity. Some insane people are lucky enough to know what they’re experiencing but I wasn’t. I would go in & out of insanity & would only recognize something is wrong in the moments I wasn’t experiencing insanity but then I would have another seizure & fall back into a state of psychosis.

Before my brain injuries I also used to be a musician & had a tiny studio in the back room of one my business. While not in my right mind I gave away everything to my friends. Gave my businesses to my family & studio & all the fun things to my friends. Studio was big but it was over $20k of seriously professional equipment.

Weird things that have taking place between me & others is that there was a period of time during my psychosis & I don’t know if it was the entire 5 years while I was having seizures, 5 weeks of 2 months but I feel like it might have been couple years where women who I was interested in was texting me but not as themselves. It’s complicated! The only girl I ever actually liked I believe she was contacting me a pretending to be someone name Lisa & Britney & at the same time there were 2 other girls texting me. So imagine an insane person talking to 4/5 women at the same time & I was so confused. I truly thought it was one girl pretending to be everyone & till this day I honestly don’t know if it was just one person pretending to be multiple people or if o was actually talking to multiple people. I feel like it was a bit cruel of them to do that! I feel like they were all testing “how insane” I was or trying to find out things when I wasn’t in my right mind because I was mentally in a vulnerable position I feel like they were playing with me! I will truly never know what exactly took place & what I have told these people.

Anyways, after losing everything. Money, people, romantic connections + I believe I have made a fool of myself online on social media like Facebook. Because while in psychosis I kept making & deleting Facebook accounts & kept trauma dumping or making status/post about what I was experiencing. I didn’t know what I was doing & I feel like I have embarrassed myself in front of everyone who knows me. I even feel a little embarrassed going in public incase anyone from my past social media accounts sees me & they’re like ‘aww look there’s that crazy person’ lol

I forgot the last 16/20 years of my life.
The brain injury actually took place in my early 30’s but my brain is stuck at age 20 to 23.
What do I mean by this?
Because I forgot last 20 years of my life my brain thinks/believes I’m 23/20. I don’t remember experiencing anything past that age. I remember very vividly very intensely what I was doing during the age of 20 & 23. Very good years of my life I believe! I don’t remembering anything before or after that time period. So when I wake up every morning in my brain I’m 20/23 or even around maybe 25 years old & I shock myself every morning by looking in the mirror & I realize I’m actually 39. It’s not a big shock because I’m getting used to it more & more but it’s at least 2 minutes of me looking at my own face in the mirror like ‘wow’ I’m 39 years old.

I honestly don’t know how I’m alive or at least not in a mental institution. At one point in my life I was convinced that I’m made to endure torture & I can’t die no matter how much physical pain I experience. I’m scared that maybe as I grow old I will develop CTE. Brain injuries are not the only trauma I have experienced. When I was young in my 20’s I was told by my doctors that I will have a heart failure because of the amount of pain I was in at the moment from broken spine & my refusal to take pain medication. On my original I.d my height was 6’2” but on my new I.d it’s 6’1” meaning I have an inches missing from my spine. Suppose to be paralyzed but I’m not. It shocking how much I can endure & still stay alive but I can also tell that my body had enough. I don’t think I’m going to live as long as the average person. I honestly give myself 10/15 more years as long as I don’t receive another major injury or life changing trauma.

Learning everything even basic life skills from scratch. Also, I still forget things so I’ll be learning same things over & over again. I feel like I will need GPS in my own city for rest of my life that’s how much I still forget. When in public no knows anything about me. When I come in contact with other people I make them laugh all day long like when I’m working or new associates I’m making who are other gig workers like me we all always run into each other & I recently even dating one but no one knows anything about me or my past. If I say anything it’s just to make them laugh. Also, I gave up on other humans. I don’t want friends, relationships Etc. I just want to keep everything surface level. Tired of losing everything & everyone you know. I don’t think other people are capable of dealing with traumatized people and they shouldn’t be required too! Everyone deserve to be around sane folks lol when I do get close to others it becomes clears that I’ll be too much for them or they’ll end up compromising their standards which I don’t want them to do. I want others to be happy & all jolly which means me keeping my traumatized self away otherwise it’s like I’m asking too much of them.

Also, this is a miracle I can actually write this long of a post. It only took me 3 days to finish. Sometimes I can’t even have a full conversation with someone. I can tell that my I.Q level has been extremely lowered because of this experience.

Anyways, starting from scratch
But also starting with zero life skills…
Like a 39 year old baby lol

Hi, recently I randomly remembered that when I was little there was a year or two where the milk cartons at my elementary school (San Jose if that helps) had characters on the back of them, they were for a game I think, like D&D or LoL characters. Maybe? I think there were 5 or 6 different ones you could get. I searched Google and all I was able to remember from my research was the brand, and I found a small description of the thing, but no pictures or names of them or anything. Can anyone help me out? Thanks!

It feels like forever since I’ve posted anything meaningful. I feel like I’ve had headaches forever, but I can’t really confirm that.

Still forgetting small increments of time still forgetting plans still forgetting names still forgetting entire conversations. It’s embarrassing to have to say over and over again to the same people things like I’m sorry I forgot or I don’t remember that. I remember going to the doctor two weeks ago and laughing because the nurse had put on my chart that I was there for early onset dementia. Then my doctor asked me if I wasn’t there for that then what was I there for. I was there for a physical, but apparently I was there to talk about my memory.

This has been the most confusing year of my life and I am scared. I have support from people I see every day but not being able to recall how my day started or what I did yesterday feels very defeating. I don’t know if I’m on here looking for advice or if I’m on here looking to connect with others. I feel like I just wanted to talk and be heard today, but I’m not really sure if that’s who I am or not.

Okay so I found out 2 years ago I have a kid the mom didn't want me in the picture her exact words. I was devastated at the time but couldn't do anything about it. she tells me the years after he's mine and he's a exact copy of me and everything. she seemed to want me around in some capacity but then decided to disappear again. my problem is I can't remember his name and it really scares me bc I don't know if I'm blocking it or I'm having memory issues. I already forget stuff all the time but never names of loved ones let alone children. it's also making me feel like a horrible person to even think about. any advice to recall would help. thanks

I had a thing where I had 2 seizures and they sedated me for 40 hours and I woke up thinking it was 4 months earlier than it was. this was like 2 years ago at this point. a little less probs idk.

but anyway my mom just told me I have a heart murmur or a hole in my heart (she cant remember) (its common and obsolete anyway) and that i had to wear a heart monitor for a week. then she wanted to say it was after the hospital. no tf it was not. I would have some semblance of a memory if it did.

its weird finding out things you did second hand like that. idk the whole situation just makes me sad. I have given up on recovering those memories. memories get stronger by repetition and ive never front hand known what happened. I think those were a bad few months for me and its a blessing I forgot them. but it still doesnt change the fact that 4 months of my adult life are gone. honestly like 5 months I remember being liberal eith my guessing of the date in the hospital

I dont know if this should properly go here but I feel like I should try it anyway.

This might not be worded properly or not make some sense in some parts since I'm (unfortunately) not too good with words and never have been but lately I've been forgetting a lot of stuff recently LIKE ALOT and i don't know why. I feel like my memory is failing me day by day, everyday that i wake up from any kind of sleep whether that'll be a nap or waking up for the next day ahead of me, something gets taken away from my memory. I've been noticing it for a long time and it has been getting more worse in the past year. I tried talking to my mom about it a few times a long time ago when I had noticed it was getting worse and she just dismissed me like it was a minor thing and said " oh I go through that too you'll be fine" so I just gave up. There have been times where I've forgotten my friends names and I have to search for it again or try and listen out for it whenever other people speak to them so my brain can connect that name back to that face. I've forgotten how to spell certain words, I've forgotten family members names, I've forgotten my friends and family's birthdays, and even information about myself that i could've easily answered just a few months ago. A lot of the time it happens whenever I wake up from sleeping. There could be assignments (e.g. homework for multiple classes or just one, take home projects, and essays) I need to do for school and when I take a nap for a short time once I get home because I'm usually extremely tired, I wouldn't remember any of them that I need to get done until it gets mentioned in the class the next day. It effects my grades heavily and I'm starting to notice it as well. I've tried experimenting on myself to see what's something in common between everything and there's nothing. I have a current personal theory that when my brain receives new information, my " memory space " is too full and to make room for this new thing I learned I have to make space by removing something from said space except I can't pick what goes and what stays. Like I could learn something new in one of my classes that I immediately got good at and then learn something else new later in the day, then the next day when I try to do the thing I learned earlier yesterday again, I don't remember anything about it and I just sit there lost especially if i studied it for things like tests in school, causing me to fail. I feel like one day at the rate that this is going in I'm gonna forget how to do anything except for just existing in a place. I feel like I'm going to forget everyone currently important to me and it makes me really afraid to think about since I love all my friends to death

TLDR; I believe my brain is taking away random memories from me every time I wake up and I'm afraid

The thoughts are fading too. I can’t quite figure out what’s going on. crying a lot, but can’t quite figure out why or remember what’s going on. we’re very confused, and the dreams are very strange too, seems like everything or almost everything is disappearing. I still have feelings, I just don’t remember why or what’s going on. Some sort of brain damage i think, lots of concussions. can’t piece things together. also, only 18 so far. does this sound worth looking into? I often can’t tell *when* i am, or recognize faces. not sure if I should look into this proffesionally

I have really struggled the last two years with memory loss. Sometimes it’s just simple as forgetting why I went into a room. But there are times and apparently a number of them lately as I’m told that I forget entire conversation conversations. It’s a struggle when you’re a leader in your field and you’re having to write things down constantly as little reminders like it’s the movie Momento. I’ve also had struggles remembering people’s names. I feel like my brain is constantly pushing the “do not delete” button. My brain keeps saying one name over and over and over again as if subconsciously I’m afraid that my memory is going to choose to forget this person because they’re not active in my life anymore. Even though they’re actively on my mind every single day I can hear the voice in my head just saying her name on repeat. I have a huge fear, and I hate admitting that I have any fear, that there’s gonna come a day that I don’t have the ability to recall her anymore. Just a thought of this breaks my heart. I’m scared. I’m afraid I’ll end up being alone in my head. No real need for any responses to this. I just thought I’d try my best to verbalize it.

✌️

I don't know which community to post this to, but I had to throw it out into universe. First I'd like to apologize if my grammar and spelling aren't the best and I will try to keep this as organized as I can and try to keep it short. Lately I feel like I've been slowly losing my mind (about acouple days to a week) because memories (which might not be memories) have been flooding into my mind like I might have suppressed them; this isn't the first time I've subconsciously done this. I've gone through traumatizing situations which took me years to recover the memory of what really happened. I think we all do this to a certain degree about extremely painful or embarrassing memories. I've went back and talk to others that were there for some clarification but this time I can't. To be honest I feel like I can't talk to anyone. Because these memories are about a certain individual that I shouldn't have even met before. I feel like Im missing this person like Im missing apart of myself. Like over the past 13 years there has been a mental block and I couldn't retain him to my long term memory. I feel like I made a huge mistake by not accepting him the first time God presented him to me. I keep remembering things I half wish were just my mind lying to me; me wishing the memories didn't happen. That there was no way I would have really denied him that many times. Caused him so much pain because I thought being with me would hold him back from the bright future he had ahead of him. He was special, bright, your perfect all American golden boy. I had never had a physical reaction upon meeting anyone else in the world but him. Call me mad but I honestly believe it was love at first sight; he knew more about me in 15 minutes then most had taken years to learn. I wasn't in a very healthy mindset when I met him though, most of my life I have struggled with self worth, and I definitely wish I wasn't so emotionally stunted when I met him. I will fully admit the 19 year old man graciously outmatched 22 year old me.. Young, ripe with ideas and mindset to change the world. I understand this story sounds completely crazy and made up but Im trully struggling to move on. Like I said if these memories are real I haven't seen this man in a few years (3 or 4) I think he said goodbye and for some reason I knew it would be the last time. He's dead now. And I can't seem to make my mind forget these false memories. I know what im feeling isn't practical or normal. But are these strong emotions I feel when I recall these memories just my unhinged mind? Are they 100% false? And why couldn't I remember him until a few days ago? When its to late to change our fate. I feel guilt for my family I have now, I have sacrificed alot for the family I have.. I just want peace, I know I don't deserve happiness or joy.. But please God let me know Peace one day.

C I'm sorry I remembered to late That I was to much of a coward when it mattered. I should have been honest. I. SHOULD. HAVE. BEEN. HONEST. It should have been me. Everything should have been ours. I wish it was me that fell that day. It should have been me. IM SORRY, I'm SO SO SO SORRY. If God gives me another chance, In another life You would be my beginning, my life, and my end. Every first memory, every last. And I wouldn't let anything convince me that I belong anywhere else but by your side. Im sorry, you were the best man I had ever met. You called me corny once when I quoted Brad Pitt to you "You were my moment of peace in a lifetime of war" And you were. You deserved so much better then what I gave you and that's what I want to change the most. Everytime I forgot you, I know it hurt. Im sorry... I've forgiven myself for alot, all those times I let myself down now I will get past this. You didn't like it when I was to hard on myself. I hope Im losing my mind and this is just me slowly unraveling. Because to me... if these memories are true and the full weight of our potential went to waste solely because of my actions...Is a thousand times worse... And I don't even deserve the peace I pray everyday for. These feelings are overwhelming me. I have to move on, I pray you are in a better place. This world didn't deserve you, I didn't deserve you.

I REMEMBER YOU C AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU. EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF YOU.

Sorry Im late.

How to change a memory - Steve rameriez

Hi I just purchased this book- I love it so far

and have been reading about what this author from mit and his late lab partner who describes memory as the mother of our identity. Memory is what makes us who we are shaping our sense of self.

And so 2 questions-

1. If you have huge memory lapses, like years gone - what then makes up who you are?

2. Any ideas of How would you manipulate memory?

(They described mice and control experiments with laser beams here in this book)

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts! Tia

Over the past three and a half years, I was severely overmedicated — I was prescribed more than ten different drugs, including antidepressants, antipsychotics, anticonvulsants, lithium, and benzodiazepines. As a result, I became practically non-functional, even though I originally went to the doctor only for depression.

Seven months ago, I stopped taking all medications, but a few days ago, certain memories from my past started to resurface. I realized that during the treatment period, not only my cognitive functions but also my memory were seriously damaged. I still can’t recall about 80% of my past.

I have seen both neurologists and psychiatrists, but none of them seem to know what to do with my case. I can't calm down my nervous system, but at least the memories are coming back like flashes. What could I possibly do in this situation?

So there is this game that my grandma (81f) played when I was a kid on the computer in the early 2000’s and she did not remember the game three eyed bingo with the bunny that had three eyes and on a flying saucer 🛸 on the game can and 23 years i don’t remember much about it can anyone find a video of the game or audio of the game back then I thank you for you guys helping me

Hi,

I'm doing a project on memory loss from personal experience. I fainted when i was a kid. without a health issue. i did not hit my head, but when i woke up, after some while i've relized that I lost all of my memories from 0 years to till fainting. i don't remember who i was or how i was as a kid. don't have any connectionts to my old self. in the end, all of this confusion and unrisolved feeelings led me to depression. I also have feelings that i can not explain, towards my childhood, which is not connected to memories, but somehow i have these anger, childishness, and etc.

did anybody experience something like that?

doctors were not able to give me diagnosis or what was the issue, why i lost my memories.

Something along the lines of “don’t tell the devil where you’re going he’ll beat you there and ….”???

I’ve been reading a report claiming up to a 44% improvement in memory based on internal studies — and honestly, I’m torn between being impressed and skeptical. Most of what AI tools suggest these days seems to echo the same ingredients and studies over and over again. Are we witnessing a real scientific convergence or just an algorithmic echo feeding back what we want to believe?
I’m sharing this to spark a genuine debate — no hype, no bias. Is it real evidence, a clever placebo, or science-flavored marketing?
If you want to read the original report yourself, drop a comment and I’ll share it privately.

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I turned 36 this year and have noticed a decline in my memory. To help with memory retention, I have improved my sleep habits and recently started learning Japanese. However, I also want to incorporate some brain games into my routine. I've considered buying Big Brain Academy for the Nintendo Switch, but I'm a little hesitant. What are your recommendations for brain games?

Today I joined a discord server for a fandom i'm in, and multiple people said they were glad to hear from me again, but I didn't remember ever talking to them.

There are messages dating months to years of conversations that showed me caring for them and being moderately to extremely close.

And it's entirely gone. I'd never have known if this hadn't happened.

I've had memory problems on and off as long as I can remember (ha) but losing entire friendships is new to me. And I'm absolutely devastated.

How many others have I lost? How many more will I lose? How can I cope with this? Is there a way to keep it from happening more? I'm only 28, but i had 5-7 concussions as a kid. I just... I'm so afraid.

I've lost memories before, from doctors appointments to books to days. And it's awful but it's not terribly common and I'm dealing with it.

But this... I don't know how to handle this.

I cant remember anything