Why do men do this?

[u/Less_Professional152]

I’ve never once in my life seen a woman sit like this. Lol

[u/hypnologic-4230]

I'm a woman and I do this all the time when I'm comfortable and want to do something different with my arms than I usually do. Pretty sure it's not a gender thing.

It's also a good way to stretch your arms.

Edit: sitting like this in PUBLIC or in front of strangers as a woman is an entirely different conversation.

[u/BlinkTwice4No → u/hypnologic-4230]

Yes! I am a woman with broad shoulders and sometimes I sit like this (or even lie down like this) because it is relaxing and offers a nice stretch.

Personally, I have no problem striking this pose around other woman as they generally either ignore it or mirror it when I do. However, I am cautious about doing it around men as their eyes go immediately to my boobs (like I’ve they suddenly started playing music or something). Then I have to sigh and put my arms down until they leave the area.

But I secretly believe SOME guys do it because they want to make their muscles look more prominent (gives them an excuse to flex). Used to work with a dude who would go to this pose EVERY time a woman walked into his office (but not men) and it gave me a major ick… I always imagined him like this the minute the ladies walked out again:

https://giphy.com/gifs/f2sOEnH1XMlfqfriwR

[u/Key-Philosopher-2788 → u/BlinkTwice4No]

I mean maybe he did it, but I hope you also respect when a man assumes a women is doing something for men 😄

[u/BlinkTwice4No → u/Key-Philosopher-2788]

Oh, I do! But think of it like this…

If I was flexing my arms near a dude and he was like, “Sweet guns, friend!” I’d high five him and be like, “Thanks, bruh! I’ve been working on it!”

But if I’m flexing my arms and a guy lasers in on my boobs, assuming THAT’S what I want, he would be mistaken.

I mean, if I wanted a man to look at my boobs, I’d take them out, shake them at him, and say, “HEY! LOOK! BOOBS!” (And expect to be arrested thereafter, naturally.) 🤷‍♀️

[u/Key-Philosopher-2788 → u/BlinkTwice4No]

Well, yeah, I think this way of thinking is very basic on reddit. It leads to thinking that men are often showing off and women wear big cleavage, makeup just for themselves. Or you know expensive dresses, cars etc. doesn't need to be sexual.

There is rationally no reason that you think a man that is stretching often is intentionally showing off his arms, but a woman that wears cleavage often is not showing of her boobs.

You can have your thoughts about it , but I am simply criticizing a double standard that I noticed.

[u/BlinkTwice4No → u/Key-Philosopher-2788]

I see what you mean. I don’t necessarily disagree that a woman “wearing cleavage” is showing off her boobs, especially if she selected a revealing outfit intentionally. (Note: Sometimes it can be difficult for women to find affordable, fashionable full-coverage attire.)

However, I do not believe all women who are showing off their boobs are doing it for men or because they want to be touched or approached. A woman can dress to be admired without simultaneously asking to be disrespected by either sex.

Same for a man. Just because a man is dressed sharply in a suit and tie does not mean someone else can walk up and smack him on the ass or compliment the way his trousers hug his crotch. That would be inappropriate without his expressed consent, IMO.

(Perhaps he dressed that way because it made him feel confident, he is on his way to a funeral, or maybe he wanted other women/men to notice or envy him… Regardless, I would hope those around him would respect his humanity enough that they are not going to catcall him on the street or assault him on an elevator, ya know?)

I appreciate your willingness to explore this bias as I think it is worth considering. I value your insight and perspective and I’m glad you took the time to share it with a stranger on the internet!