My partner proposed to me last night! He did it right after we were sprinkling lentils over our head for the new year, and he said that he was so in love with me in that moment that he couldn’t wait any longer! We’ve been together for 4 years, and I can’t think of spending the rest of my life with anyone else! I just need to tell someone cause I want to wait a couple of weeks before announcing it. ( not showing my nails cause I ripped them off like right before he proposed lol; but I’m getting a new set today.)

I know that this is a topic that has been talked about over and over, but after this Megan/Klay break up, a lot of ppl are speaking out.

I've even had a discussion with a man who told me that women should "pick better" and if ppl talk shit about all men, that includes your sons too.

I'm sick of ppl trying to blame the women after we get swindled, duped, and bamboozled by a man. I've said this before in a comment in another sub, and my views are still the same. I agree with Summer, but unfortunately, ppl in the comments of this post on Facebook are saying "right message, wrong messenger". Does it matter who says it??? A lot of us have been through this. Summer is speaking the truth here.

Bringing up someone's past and how many ppl they have dated and had sex with is null and void in this conversation. I'm not staying with any man who would intentionally hurt my feelings or jeopardize my health, so if that means I have to find a new one, I will. It doesn't have to be right away, but if that's what I want, I have the free will to do it. We get blamed for everything and get the scarlet letter of shame for not taking any shit when we leave. It's sickening.

Being in front of a camera and posing was such an awkward experience 😂😂 I adore the off guard photos of us laughing the most lol

Hello ladies, I just want to Brag about my fiancée for a moment. It’s been a long time coming (over 7 years) and if I’m being honest I would have liked to take this step 2 years ago but I’m so happy we are finally here! He decorated his place and gave me a speech just me and him. I did see it coming so I was emotional our whole date but still cried.

It’s a bit big on me so it’ll have to be resized but so happy to be a fiancée. I do wish someone else could plan the wedding 🫠.

I know I did too much talking at the end but I just had to get all of that off my chest because pourquoi (why)!?!?!?!?

the ick is icking , a man opens his mouth and I'm already tired

Not “taking a break.” Not “focusing on myself for a while.” I mean actually done

And before anyone jumps in with the predictable “you need therapy” no. I don’t. If anything, the behavior I keep seeing from men in dating is what needs therapy. I’m not interested in being the one doing the emotional labor to fix it

Also spare me the “well MY boyfriend/husband is amazing.”

Good for you. Seriously. I’m not jealous. Either you found a rare one, you got lucky, or you’re putting in a level of work I’m not willing to do anymore. That’s your situation, not mine

What I keep seeing online and in real life is exhausting

Gen Z men especially feel empty, boring, and weirdly entitled at the same time. The bar is on the floor. A guy doesn’t cheat, showers regularly, and has basic manners and suddenly he thinks he’s some rare diamond. Like congrats for acting like a normal human being?

Meanwhile the expectations on women never stop. Be attractive but not “too much.” Be supportive. Be understanding. Be emotionally available. Be interesting. Be chill. Don’t ask for too much. Don’t have standards that are “too high.”

And the wild part? Society still pushes women constantly toward dating and relationships. As if that’s the end goal. As if our lives are incomplete without it

Men already have the advantage in dating culture. There are so many women centering men defending them, lowering standards for them, building their lives around them. The system is literally designed to favor them

Then you open social media and it’s men discourse 24/7.

Men explaining things. Men debating women. Men complaining about women. Even conversations criticizing men somehow still end up centering them

It’s exhausting

And on top of that, being a Black woman adds another layer of nonsense racism, stereotypes, being overlooked or fetishized depending on the context. It’s already a lot to deal with in the world without also fighting for basic respect in dating

So yeah. I’m tired

I’m not interested in marriage anymore. I’m not interested in building a family with a man. I’m not interested in trying to find the “good ones.”

I’d rather put my energy literally anywhere else

If other women want that life, cool. I genuinely wish you the best with it

But for me?

I’m done like byeeeeeeeee sir

I was on the phone with my bf last night. I was telling him that I’m considering doing a bartending gig on the weekends to pick up extra money. Bartenders make a ton in the city I live in. He pretty much forbidden me from taking that job because he says that kind of job puts me on display for men to hit on me. I told him that I was just simply keeping him informed, I wasn’t asking for his permission on whether or not I should take the job. He said that if I take the job, he’s done with me and he began to cry. I said that I’m ok with him ending the relationship without any fussing or hesitations.

I briefly called to check on him this morning because he was crying last night, not to negotiate or work anything out. He did cop an attitude with me so I ended the call. Then he texts me this

Edit: I know I should have put regret in quotation marks because I know he truly doesn’t regret anything.. it’s what he said in his voicemail to me

yea i was pretty mad and hurt for about a month because i genuinely thought he respected me and my journey (i am currently 28 finally completing my undergrad so that i can go to med school)…

idk if it’ll truly make a difference but i’ll be damned if he profits off of my name after being so callous and disrespectful to me.

Sooo again recently single, started dating. Clicked with this BLACK man on bumble. Gave him my number after about a week of talking on bumble. This is within 10 minutes of texting alllll because i didn’t want to FaceTime after i had got home from the gym and said i “looked like a bum”. (That’s the segue from being denied…) 🤮🤮🤮. And yes he got blocked after my last text. Didn’t let him get a word in. WHY GOD! Whyyyyy..

I’ve never been a particularly religious person but I’m 7 months pregnant and my husband and I have been going thru it. He’s been literally stressing me out and doesn’t even care about the baby. He’s screaming at me in front of our kids and telling me to kill myself.

All over money issues we’ve been having that he caused himself.

I’ve been praying and crying to God to help me. With idk even what, just help me. And idk if this was his calling to tell me to run away with my kids. Idk, sometimes it feels like God has forgotten about me.

My blood pressure is so high and my anxiety is so crazy every time my husband comes home because idk what he’s gonna say to me. No amount of talking to him about how he’s treating me even registers with him.

I legit think he’s something demonic, how can a man treat a his wife this way and want me to die?

Update— made it safely with my mom !

I seen this on TikTok and Jesus Christ, I salute all my cousins who really do put up with men on a daily basis if this what y’all dealing with 😭😭 I would lose my mind.

My boyfriend is supposed to be helping his friend out with a surgery for a few days. He got a hotel room in Austin and is supposed to be back Sunday and having a room to his self. His luggage is on the bed. I just want to see if I’m losing my mind or overthinking things.

I just found out about this app the other day and because my nerd brain can't resist a moment to observe human behavior in the wild, I downloaded it. After approval, I decided to just mosey around to see what all the hubbub was about. And I finally get it. I finally understand why so many of the dustiest crustiest men have the most audacity.

I always wondered why on earth these kind of men would approach or slide in DMs and have the nerve to be upset when they were swiftly rejected by women with a modicum of self-respect and standards: there are actually women giving these men attention and intimate access.

There are women fighting over men who look like they just received their "ain't shit starter pack" in the mail. Nearly every photo of every guy was a variation of the same sad theme: a creature with dead, jaundiced, eyes staring into the camera adorned in cheap jewelry, face tattoos, grills, holding up stacks of money in one hand with a Black n' Mild dangling from tar blackened lips while flipping the camera off with the other.

These men have a falsely inflated sense of self that goes beyond clinical levels of delusion and is spicened with an unwarranted sense of entitlement because there are silly women with abysmal standards that have catered to their egos and set them loose into the world without adult supervision.

Not a single, solitary, man posted on that app requires a warning for any woman with a lick of sense and discernment. It's worse when such a man is posted by someone asking for "tea" about these things due to, I presume, some level of interest. Because how? No seriously. HOOOW!?

I am just too through! I'm done giving unsolicited, and hell even solicited, relationship advice because not nan one of them is listening any gotdamn way! Just out here being messy for no reason.

Here I was thinking I was going to find women actually being helpful to other women and warning about men who are legitimate safety concerns but otherwise present as upstanding members of society as a mask. Shiiiiiit. Every last one of these men posted would make me cross the street and grip my keys if I saw them in passing. And let's be real, most of the women on there don't give two shits about "helping women be safe." They're searching for the rest of their dusty's rotation members because they know damn well what kind of foolishness they're willfully choosing to deal with.

This is such a disappointment, because the idea for this app could really be a helpful tool, and it's being overrun with straight up dizzy shit.

End rant. 😤

Girls i have been laughing my ass off. I find it hard to sympathize for these women if they keep defending their goofy husbands

Today I had to tell my husband he was right. 😭😭😭 what do I do now. We've been married almost 22 years and this is a tragic day for me. what do I do next?

I do have confidence but I can't help but feel down that the ones I'm interested aren't interested in me

I can't count how many bad dates I had this month and I do filter conversations btw

I feel I'm really done from within towards relationships and I won't find someone I been single since almost 7 years and I never had a good relationship either

men just into looks and im tired of that

I unmatched immediately but what???? So corny 🤣🤣

I keep seeing the same kind of posts on here so I’m going to say it. LEAVE MEN* ALONE IF YOU…

• have low self esteem or self worth
• have unresolved trauma
• lack self awareness
• lack self control
• are emotionally immature
• don’t know how to set and or hold boundaries
• don’t even know what a boundary is
• have no standards or dealbreakers
• desperately lonely
• center men and relationships instead of yourself
• don’t know what a healthy relationship should look like
• are a people pleaser
• are a push over
• crave male validation
• have been in fifty leven bad situations with men and think the only problem is them
• don’t know who you are or what you want
• love attention more than you love yourself

This isn’t even a full list but if you posses any of the above 99.9% of the time YOU WILL GET PLAYED and you’ll keep getting played until you finally pause and step back and work through some of this stuff. Unless you prefer drama, chaos, and tears then keep doing what you’re doing 😂

*I say men because that’s mostly what I see posts about but this applies to anyone

Is anyone available to pick me up from the hospital with a car seat rn since it looks like I was born yesterday? Why tf would I answer to ANY of these foolish questions?

(My last post was taken down citing click bait and using the wrong flair? ) I didn’t understand how. I’m using the same flair as I’m not sure which one is more fitting. So hoping it doesn’t get taken down again.

My Partner and I tried to get a few photos in on Christmas. We had one good one and the others I thought were hilarious. It shows our personalities so well.

Wishing you all happy holidays and new years! Hope you’re able to share it with loved ones filled with joy and laughter ❤️💚

​

black men getting wild I swear

I met a guy from Bumble and I’m still processing what just happened…

First of all… this man lied about his age. Said he’s 29 he’s actually 38. I’m 28 btw.

Then casually drops that he has THREE kids. Like full grown. Sir??? That’s not a small detail to forget???

But wait.

We’re sitting, eating… and suddenly there’s a fart smell.

So obviously I’m like… it’s him. Because I don’t do that around people. Ever. I would simply pass away first.

I try to ignore it, and this man looks at me and goes:

“Do you smell that?”

I said yeah… I thought it was you.

HE SAID HE THOUGHT IT WAS ME.

There was NO ONE around us.

So now I’m sitting there like… not only are you a liar with secret children, you’re also trying to gaslight me over a fart???

Men are really out here living double lives AND blaming you for the air quality.

Edit : it was first bumble date idk this man lol and I unmatched him fast after the date so it was the first and last yall

I matched with a good looking guy on hinge. He was what I was looking for as far as career, hobbies, education, eloquence and stature. We made plans and had a phone call to confirm interest in one another. He even texts me the early the morning of meet up to confirm.

I had to check on my mom this morning because she wasn’t answering the phone (she’s fine) but it was important to me to get to her before continuing my day. I didn’t tell him all that but I did let him know I was running behind.

Prior to this he was very communicative and enthusiastic. He spoke well and seemed to be looking forward to meeting. I know for a fact I’m not the asshole in this situation. I have updated ETA.

When I didn’t see him there I FaceTimed.

No answer, called, no answer. Texted no response. He’s new in this city so I was gentle at first… maybe he got lost in the marketplace. Called again, straight to voicemail.

Last night I was sending pics to the group chat trying to figure out what to wear. I was genuinely looking forward to casual walk and a quick brunch date.

🥲

I’ve been on and off dating apps for a few years now and I’ve had a myriad of experience, good, bad, traumatizing. But I’ve never been stood up. It’s not even that it was him in particular because we only just matched on Sunday, it’s Friday. He holds no weight in me. But the experience of being left standing, searching, calling alone definitely gave me a little bruise.

I treated myself to sushi and macarons and returned to my mom’s place after.

If I have one take away it’s not I’m glad I chose a place that I was familiar with. I used to work in that market so I got lunch and treats at a favorite place of mine. And two, I’m glad he showed who is from the beginning without giving me the chance to invest emotionally.

Y’all be good. I’m about to go NOT cry in the corner.

Why? I'm sure he thought I was a pick me .. SMH

This is rant and just pattern observation:

As a person who works in data in the tech industry, I wholeheartedly believe that hinge is purposefully not just hiding your likes and matches, but even delaying your messages. I know how they use our data to manipulate us, because I do it. Although I am in a different industry.

So many people online complain about online dating and how they feel ugly, or there aren’t as many good people and etc. although ofc, that might be true in some cases. I believe majority of the reason people in general are having a hard time dating online is 98% the algorithm and system they have in place.

They do purposely withhold likes you get, and only give it to you here and there, to keep you engaged. This impacts your self esteem and emotions and it pushes you to buy subscription or believe that you aren’t worthy. But that only keeps you more on hinge. Downloading and canceling and redownloading again. They know your patterns and who you find attractive (race, height, and etc plays huge into this). But yet they withhold because they know u might leave if you find your match.

In addition, once you do get likes, they hold it, on PURPOSE, so that you feel like nobody likes you regardless of how much you swipe. Even the most attractive people don’t get the same amount of likes on Hinge vs other dating apps.

And finally, even after you send your message, I do believe they use delay it (Amazon delay queues, etc). So even people speaking with eachother aren’t communicating as frequently which makes them go back and swipe again to other users.

I truly think hinge makes both men and women more insecure, and more exhausted in dating. But it is even worse for black women. Other dating apps do the same, but no other app is more comfortable and audacious and evil in their practices than Hinge. I 100% believe bw are better off boycotting or going to other dating apps.

I tried testing my theory with different users, with different skin tones and backgrounds and etc. which ended up causing me to be banned actually because I switched so many profiles to see if my theory was accurate. It was and I will DIE ON THIS HILL and I know it will come out someday.

I am writing this to say, if you feel ugly or worse about dating after hinge know 9/10 this isn’t your fault. The algorithm only works with $$. The moment you pay suddenly all these people come up… and likes and chats are more frequent. That is not a coincidence, it is intentional and calculated.

Genuinely, I'm concerned. I know the dating scene is hard but where are you finding these men?