I love it so much!! We’ve been together for almost a month and oh my god. Guys. He’s so literal. I love it. He just says what he thinks, it’s wonderful. He cracks me up. When we’re cuddling in bed I can just feel him start to be done with it and then he’ll be like “okay I’m done cuddling now” and gets out of bed. Absolutely cracks me up. And then he just!!! He just says things and they’re so true!! I type really silly and exactly like i speak and i can be like “i lovedddd hanging with you!!! Let’s do it again soon!! :3 :3” and he’s like “yes, I’d like that.” And ughhh i LOVE IT!!! Straight to the point!!!

I told my mom this relationship better last because i can’t go back to dudes who play games LMAOOO. and his like special interest is video games and i loveeee video games and we just!! Play games in the same room but not together and it’s very comfortable!! Seems like he needs his space at times which is great for me because i always enjoy doing something myself. And we just coexist!!! So lovely!!!!!

He’s so calm and like nonchalant it’s awesome. I’ve got ADHD and I’m very scattered and we just work so well it’s awesome. Love it 10/10. Just had to share!!!!!!! He likes doing things in specific ways so he always cooks for me!!! How fun!!!! And i scratch his head! Ughhhhh.

He’s super into communication as well since he doesn’t like any misunderstandings. It works well because i tend to just say whatever and ask questions and tell him what i want / need and he always is super receptive to it. Awesome.

Okay that’s all LOL!!!

(Also is it better to say autistic man or man with autism? I’ve been trying to research things to make sure he’s comfortable and to not upset him)

I love my friend for this reason alone, she is one of the best friends I have ever had!!!

So I (21M) sometimes go out with my friend (20F) to have a meal or go to the cinema or whatever but she will never wear a bra and quite often she will wear a rather transparent thin top and I mean some of them are like completely see through to the point she might as well be top less, so her breasts are very visible and completely on display. This in turn kinda makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I'm constantly nervous where I'm looking because I don't want to look like a pervert but it also draws attention to us which I'm not a fan of. I don't mind her choosing to not wear a bra if she finds it more comfortable but her choice to pair it with a transparent top makes things slightly awkward and I honestly don't know why she does it

Yes Spongebob Squarepants is Asexual and my favourite. The photo is necessary. Anyway... something I've noticed within our community irl and online is that a lot of us are Asexual. Is this super common or am I only meeting Asexual Autistic people out of coincidence? I am also Asexual with Autism lol.

Couldn't figure out which tag to put this under. I wouldve put it under "identity" if there was one.

We have a guy at work who is a bit.. slow. As in, Im not sure exactly whats his issue, he's great with people, hes open, hes friendly, but he's terrible at stocking. He would need step by step instructions and constant supervision to not severely mess up like plugging a pallet on the floor backwards, or stocking it way too high, or having it be completely lopsided, or dropping stuff... etc.

I was asking my coworker whos much better at instructing people than I am if she'd be able to say something to him.

Conversation led to her saying that some people had learning disabilities, and she's tried to work with him for the past 12 years or so.

I said, I know, as in, I didn't mean to put him down like that, I just meant he really needs that one-on-one guidance and supervision.

Besides that, I told her I was gonna tell her something I havent really told anyone else, that I was autistic. (To show that I am not trying to be ableist in any way, and also the reason I am the way I am).

She said "oh honey, I know".

That astonished me. Never has anyone ever believed that I had autism. No one. Not my doctor, not my parents, not my friends, not random people who work with my other siblings and say "oh but Ive seen autistic kids and you dont look like you have it".

To be fair, shes in her late ages and has definitely seen a lot in her life. But she also just seems really perceptive.

Everyone in my life would take the diagnosis and throw it out the window. I mean actually, not even my therapist believes I have it.

I was literally diagnosed. It took a whole year of testing and waiting.

But my coworker validated me like no one else has or ever will. It felt so freeing.

She said I didnt have to tell her, for her to know. Maybe that might annoy other people? Not sure. But I loved it.

I hate masking, and Im not even that good at it anyway. But the fact that she really just believed me, no questions...

Made me really happy.

I (39m lvl 2 autism diagnosis) was asked by a short lived romantic partner (38f) to read a childrens book on emotions and feelings and when I tried to say I did not think I needed to read it she said to me that if I wanted this to work I would do it, trying to guilt me into reading a book for children to learn better what my emotions are. I am wondering how many of you would feel insulted by someone forcing that upon you when in my case I understand the different emotions and feelings I just do not experience them all I still understand them though.

🤔

Must be the vaccines. Or the tablets. Or Cocomelon. Or whatever TikTok told you to panic about today.

Nah, babe. What’s really wild is how y’all act like autism just popped up outta nowhere — when in reality, you grew up surrounded by undiagnosed autistic people. You just called it something else.

Your cousin wasn’t “lazy.” He just couldn’t function without routine. Your uncle didn’t “give you the creeps.” He struggled with social cues. Your grandpa with the strict breakfast routine and same chair every morning? That was sensory comfort and hyperfixation. That classmate who was brilliant but never spoke? The sibling who had meltdowns over scratchy clothes or loud sounds? The kid who knew more about dinosaurs or trains than the teacher? The adult who wears the exact same outfit every single day because it feels right?

You didn’t miss autism. You mislabeled it. Autism isn’t new — but diagnosis is. Awareness is. Acceptance is.

So yeah, go ahead and keep blaming screen time or Tylenol if it makes you feel better — while entire generations of folks were dismissed as “weird,” “bad,” or “slow.”

It’s not a rise in autism. It’s a rise in people finally being seen for who they really are. 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

words not written by me but this is perfect so I needed to post

Hi, thanks for all being a supportive community. I'm posting here as I would like some kind and non-judgemental advice regarding a severely affected autistic friend.

This friend is male and in his early 20s. He is generally a happy and interesting person to hang out with, but lately, my partner and I (late 20s) have been disturbed with how he is behaving towards us.

• He calls daily, multiple times an hour.
• He comes to our home without permission (even attempting to enter or force entry to the house).
• He asks us many questions about our sexual relationship.
• He makes inappropriate sexual comments towards me e.g he wants to sleep with me, what do I like in that context, what my partner and I do privately etc. (So he does seem to understand that sex is private...)
• He constantly tests boundaries and enters areas of our home without permission e.g bedroom.
• He tries to access pornographic material in public.
• He texts a lot in an insistent tone.
• He keeps saying that he will come to our house and that he doesn't care that it's 'not allowed'.
• He aggressively demands more contact information from my partner or his family.

We have told him in a calm and straightforward way that he is being inappropriate and making us uncomfortable, because his behaviour is causing negative emotions (My partner himself has autism).

He does not respond well and has meltdowns/shouts in public towards us or his parents until he essentially gets what he wants: his mother usually promises our time for another outing (without our permission) in order to get him to stop. Mom herself is quite burnt out with a highly demanding job. We have had a conversation with our friend's mother to explain the situation, she said 'thank you for your feedback'. But we don't have any clarity on how this situation will be resolved.

The mother has told us verbatim: "Please can he just come see you, even for 5 minutes because he asks about you every day". This has even happened when I'm on holiday or at work.

I also don't want to impose or suggest on a parent, but our friend faces no consequences for inappropriate behaviour (like removing a privilege, not allowing him to contact us etc.) and I don't think any talk on sex/appropriate sexual behaviour has been done at his home. I do think that their home is somewhat emotionally detached.

In the meantime, we continue to tell our friend clearly and calmly, not to call us and that we will contact him. But our friend continues to contact us and attempt to visit our home without permission.
We are continuing to be consistent and kind in setting boundaries, but it is upsetting. I came from a household of sexual harm so this is very triggering. My autistic partner is also overwhelmed and upset by this.

Thanks in advance for your understanding!

Sorry for asking this again- yall gave me the confidence to confess on my last post, so I wanted to ask for advice again - I told him I liked him, and I want to know if he likes me back, I know I should ask directly but I don’t want to ask if I think he’s just going to reject me

I have literally never disclosed my Asperger's diagnosis to anyone except one person, my best friend since 9th grade, as he also has the same as me. I've never told any girlfriend i've had and I never planned to. But now she's directly asking/inferring if I do and I don't want to lie but I also don't want to admit it for various reasons. I can usually just blame it on my ADHD since nobody gets judged for that these days. What do I do?

I had a crush on a dude, but I didnt realize it because I have the emotional bandwidth of a toaster. My friend eventually was like "girl you have a crush on him" and im like "damn youre right", so I then proceeded to ask him out less than 24 hours later. I had spent the whole day with him (and other friends) that day, and I kept trying to work up the courage to ask him out when we were alone, but I couldn't, so during dinner, I asked him out through text lol. He said "sure" (he is also bad with feelings lol), and we went through the rest of dinner like nothing happened.

After dinner, everyone else had assignments to do, so we went out for milkshakes for our first date. Turned out he had had a crush on me for months, and had even cut out the food im allergic to just in case 2 months before I asked him out (I cant get over this jsjdjfkf). I was so nervous that I hyperventilated till I couldnt walk on my own, and he had to help me walk to my dorm lol.

It has now been 5 (almost 6!) months together, and its great!!!!!! I just miss him rn and find our story of getting to the dating part funny. Hope someone else finds it funny too lol.

I'm single right now, i had some relationship with both men and women, but it never took off, because of me and because i am autistic and really detached from people, now, with my last break up, i feel like i will never have a relationship, that person being autistic or not, being a woman or non-binary (I'm a lesbian), i just think I can't really be a good person to date, marry or have kids. I have come with terms with that or I'm gaslighting myself into thinking that way.

I want to have a daughter in the future, maybe i will adopt, maybe i will have sex just for that, or maybe i will have in vitro, and that's okay for me, being a single parent and have a lot of money to give my daughter everything she needs, i will be happy with that.. but I can't really ever get away from this thought that I'm gonna die alone without anyone.

Pretty much exactly what the title says. My (25 m) girlfriend (25f) refused to go on a date with me on Thursday because she was afraid that I'd embarrass her with my happy stimming(bouncing a little bit when I'm sitting and occasional flapping hands) and my family apparently feels the same despite my whole family being on the spectrum too. I've already been struggling with my depression since my family said I'm not allowed to happy stim at all with them around and I basically went numb emotionally.

Thursday I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go on a date since we had the day off(I ended up working 4 hours for some overtime). She (kind of) lied and told me that she didn't want to because she was tired. I get her roses on my way home from work and she and my stepmom drop the bombshell that she really didn't want to go on a date with me because she didn't want me to embarrass her with my happy stimming. As anyone on here can imagine, that hurt me to the point where I don't even want to bother with dates anymore and I think it might actually be irreparable damage to our relationship. I basically have been distancing myself since and might even end the relationship over this. Does anyone have any experience or advice?

Update: I tried talking to her and apparently she really is embarrassed about the stimming and there is no changing her mind. Looks like breaking up is the only option. It hurts because she is still affectionate but knowing that she's embarrassed being around me in public is a hard deal breaker. Wish me luck.

2nd and final update: I talked to her last night and told her that I'm breaking up with her if she can't accept that I happy stim and what happened since I was told that I can't do it with my family. Sounds like she realized how big of a problem it is for me to constantly mask and will let me finally stop masking but we'll see. Thank you all for the support. It means a lot.

I developed a deep obsession with rats during my Asian high school years, when I was severely depressed and tormented by the system; their presence aided me in the darkest stage of my life.

Rats are simply so wholesome. Every time I watch their goofy movements—like when they try to squeeze themselves into my water bottle—I instantly forget all the human drama and bs.

Thanks to these little creatures, I have become excited and lively again, like a small child.

After moving to Europe to study, I took this obsession a step further. With my Chinese business brain, I started a small, ethical rat-breeding business, which turned out to be quite successful. Now I have a large rat family living together.🐁❤️🐀

As a philosophy student, I have also made rats a subject of my academic interest, using them to explore and articulate the relationship between animals within ecology and human beings.

Whenever I talk to neurotypical people about this obsession, they often struggle to understand it. To them, rats have no utilitarian value and are seen as dirty, disgusting, and unpredictable. As a result, animals are frequently viewed through an objectified, anthropocentric lens; I even received insults that I am spreading "Bubonic plague".

For me, however, rats are not only my therapists, my friends, my babies, and my loves — they are my soulmates, the missing half of myself finally reconnected. 🐭🐭🐭🐀

This is my Autistic love story with rats 🐁🐭🐀❤️ I hope it adds a small ray of light to your day

Pretext, she me she doesn't love me anymore after she realized everything ahe asked of me, she got. But she was still unhappy deep down and it's easier to blame it on my obvious shortcomings instead of her avoidant personality preventing her to think the the big thoughts. The hard ones. The ones you have to break down and understand. That just makes me "too much" and now she doesn't love me and apparently felt that for a while. Just last night she was cuddling all up on me but the moment she's inconvenienced or there is some basic misunderstanding, she blames it all on me and blows up. I'm no psych, but I strongly believe she suffers from undiagnosed BPD and she loves me ine moment and then can't stand me the next. She'll never love until she figures that out. But until then, I have to keep rolling the dice on women that think my mild autism is cute and quirky until they have to see the ugly side of things. Which is insane to me because I would love her even if she got in a catastrophic accident and I had to wipe her ass for the rest of her life. Are understanding women even out ? I've never felt so alone and I have been with her for almost 3 years. Conversations about my feelings turn into arguments and admittedly I have this overwhelming need to be understood. And she doesn't understand me at all. She says she does but the moment that personality switch flips, she weaponizes my disability against me knowing I can't function like most people. Obviously it's way deeper than that but I'm tired of shouting into the void because nobody irl understands, and I struggle meeting new people because of my dependence on anxiety meds to make my panic attacks bearable. I just need to know that I'm worthy of love I because even though I haven't dated many, I ruined my teenage relationship by trying to have too much control over others to manage my anxiety, and second gf was juggling 2 dudes 3 years (it was long distance.) Now I have this very real relationship and a life started but she tells me tonight she can't love me. At what point do I stop giving her grace and chalking it up to er own unresolved issues? I know I'm hard to love so I am more than willing to grow alongside her, but it's hard for someone to grow when they don't see a problem within themselves, instead it's my autism.

I really really want to keep going and going because I've had all of this bottled up for a long ass time and she's done some straight up evil things to me that I just shrug off "we all have our issues" right? But I need to reign it in and control my spiraling anxiety at 3 am when I feel most alone and vulnerable. I don't expect any relationship saving advice. Again, I think I just needed to scream into the void or I'll explode. What better void than the internet where everyone is generally anonymous and, as a collective, generally supportive. Sorry for the essay. I won't be offended if nobody even read this far. I am just glad I did something for my mental health, and for personal reasons I can't open up about this stuff irl.

I (17f) love chatting with my friend who has autism, I love it lots because he’s hilarious and sweet, but it’s overwhelming me when he texts me when I don’t respond for a few. The first time was when we were sending selfies of what we were doing but I was cooking so I didn’t have my phone or at least wasn’t focusing on it. Second was when I was exploring the new state I live in now. I moved from Kansas— a flat ass state— to Colorado which is very much mountains! I was at the hot springs which I cannot text in because I don’t trust bringing my phone in hot ass water lmao. Afterwards, I responded to all of the messages he sent and my mom and I went to a restaurant. I kept a good texting conversation with him going until our food arrived. I personally don’t like phones at the table when food arrives or when there are people, so I put it away. The most recent example is this morning, I stayed up til 3am (don’t judge😛) and woke up at 11am to a bunch of texts from him. I replied normally and didn’t mention my stress with it. Am I doing something wrong? I mean I can’t immediately text him as soon as he texts me. But also I understand the feeling of being ignored because I have borderline tendencies. I relate with him on the constant texting but it’s overwhelming me. Not with the texting itself, but the fact that I am an over-perfectionist. Everything I do needs to be perfect and if I’m making him sad because I’m not responding, it makes me stressed. I just don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to hurt him because he’s the sweetest fucking guy, but I’m getting really annoyed and stressed.

I’m curious what the general consensus was, me and a friend personally are on the same page of we have to have an actual connection with someone.

Hello all!

I know dating can be hard for people on the spectrum, in my experience and from what I've been told at least, so I wanted to know how true this is and how it has effected the members of this sub. I appreciate all contributions/answers

I saw this post from 3 years ago and I thought it was really nice, I thought it might be nice for people to have this chance to do it again. I miss having friends.

Would I be ok in finding this offensive?

Info: she’s my cousin who I don’t talk to really at all