I'm turning 16 soon and a lot of my friends & people I know who are this age have had their rooms "mature" and gotten rid of their toys for a while, but my room still looks like I'm 10.

I've been trying to make small steps towards it like putting away some plushies and putting some of my toys into storage, but my room still looks the same.

It bugs me sometimes the amount of clutter I have too, but the items making it cluttered I feel like I can't get rid of because of sentimental value.

I feel stuck, almost trapped in my room because of the amount of time I spend in it, and I really don't know what to do.

Advice would be greatly appreciated.

Attached photos for point of reference (please no insults)

I have been having a very bad week, having shutdowns almost every other day, and the only thing I've been wanting to do is lay in my bed with my comfort item (a doll) and a weighted blanket. Earlier today I wondered if they make weighted clothing? Like a jacket or one of those things that are like a third dress third blanket third hoodie? I know weighted vests exist but I would really prefer something with long sleeves that are also weighted. If anyone knows of a product like that could you comment a link?

Edit: found some on amazon, but HOLY CRAP these things are like $200??? if anyone can find something cheaper plzzz lmk

I haven’t posted here in almost 7 years. I found out seven years ago that I was autistic and had a lot of questions about it but it also made sense why my life is the way it is.

I just graduated college and I’m completely burn out, depressed, angry and self loathing. I have no good friends I can talk to this about and the one friend who I thought was my best friend had a huge fight with me last month and we don’t talk anymore.

I find it very hard to live life as me. I find it extremely exhausting and difficult to be around people that I don’t vibe with, and the “friends” that I have are people I don’t vibe with. I feel like an outsider in every conversation and very group. I have no social support systems, family who constantly shuns me for being autistic.

I was best friends with a person that I was able to rant to about a lot of things, they were finally tired of me complaining about life all the time and told me that they’re tired of it. Spending any minute with this person felt like I was begging for this person to be my friend but I tolerated it because as a man it is very difficult to have someone to talk to, and this person at-least let me complain.

I’m ashamed of being autistic, or maybe autistic isn’t the right word. I’m ashamed of being me. I’m ashamed of being quiet. I’m ashamed of being introverted and a social outcast. I’m ashamed of not being able to strike up conversations, meet new people or do whatever things normal people do. I’m ashamed that I always use self checkout because I don’t want to talk to the cashier. I’m ashamed of never having experienced all the things normal people have experienced.

I told a girl that I liked her very long time ago. She hung out me and it seemed like we had so much in common, but she didn’t feel the same way - she just ghosted me and I still see her sometimes. It made me feel very bad about myself. I blame my personality ie autism, adhd, financial status, physical appearance. ADHD severely hinders my life. I wish she had told me why she didn’t like me.

I thought I was really good at coming up with good ideas, good business ideas. I failed horribly when I tried to compete in a start up competition. I was able to get a mentor from my university - they were really proud of me, they wanted me to win. A lot of people in the entrepreneurship club thought I would win. But I lost. The judges told me that they want a team, and me not having anyone on my team was bad. Bunch of Ivy League students won’t the competition with their AI business ideas.

I live with a roommate who doesn’t talk to me at all, I don’t want any conflicts so I’m fine with that. But then I hear how people are friends with their roommates and I’m wondering if I’m doing something wrong. I invited my roommate to several events but they said they couldn’t make it. They never invited me to anything and they don’t really talk to me either. They have friend over most of the times so they’re always with someone.

I try my best but it’s never enough. I don’t do well academically either, I only have a 3.1 gpa and it was a struggle getting it up from 2.7. I am spending the summer applying for jobs and all I get are rejections (Computer Engineering major). I have no connections are family friends that can get me a job, so I just apply to jobs everyday hoping something happens.

I look at the mirror and I hate myself. I hate who I am. I don’t think people appreciate me. I don’t have any neurodivergent people to look you to. I watched a couple episodes of “welcome to nhk” (I have never watched anime) and I found it really comforting. Living a life as a hikikomori sounds and looks comforting. And before you say I should get therapy, I don’t even have heath insurance and I don’t think a therapist can make me feel like I’m attractive or lovable.

I ask the autistic men out there, how do you live? How do you go through your days l knowing that people dont appreciate your traits, they’re not attracted to jt? How do you deal with crushes, when you know you’re gonna get rejected most likely?
How do you deal with the shot that life throws at you? I loon around and I see not autistic men I can loo upto.

Is this all life is? To live in my cheap basement apartment, in a dead small town, having just enough money to live but never to buy a car. I feel so dehumanized to live this miserable life. To live a life alone, unloved, unappreciated and sensory overwhelmed

Not looking for advice just ranting.

I accidentally come off as rude all the time because I genuinely don’t recognize people unless I have repeated and recent interactions with them. Apparently, people who I’ve met and actually would want to greet and talk to keep coming into my work and I genuinely do not realize I’ve met them before. At my previous customer facing job someone came in every single day for months and I genuinely didn’t realize it until sooo long, he was like “you finally remembered me!” I felt bad! Meeting up with friends I haven’t seen in a very long time, honestly terrifying to locate them in a space like a crowded bar. I’m scanning everyone trying to remember theirs. I ran into my boss from last year and had a brief conversation and didn’t realize it was her because it was a different context than my old job. I thought huh, that lady looks a little like my old boss but I really didn’t think it was her until I found out later. I saw a guy I went on a few dates with on the train. Tbh I did have the thought, oh is it that guy? I had to pull up his dating profile and match his tattoos and it actually was him but it had been 1-2 months since I last saw him. Also the fact he was with another girl and avoiding looking in my direction was a clue lol.

Anyway I don’t like it. I feel like I keep offending people by not remembering, especially at work!!

Curious if anyone has good tips. Advice from typical reddit(join a club and talk to people) is probably good for NTs but seems like an insurmountable task for me (the organically talking to new people portion). Need some wisdom

Also, work remote so can't make friends in the office

Do you think Dinosaur/s showed any sign of Autism, ADHD, or AuDHD?

What dinosaur out of all the prehistoric creatures do you think had the most signs of Autism and ADHD?

Cause I feel like the closest would be with the most intelligent ones or Allosaurus with the name literally meaning "Different Lizard."

What do you all think?

A few days ago, me and my mom were talking about my aunt picking me up and taking me to work. I don’t have a car, so I have to get other people to take me to work.

During the convo, me and my mom were joking about how my aunt’s house is so far and she always forgets to do things when it requires her driving.

Her house is indeed far.

Anyways, she was on the call with us while we were talking about it. We were all joking with each other btw. No hard feelings involved.

My aunt said “I’m right here!” in jokingly offended tone

I responded with “mhm” in a “yes I am aware we are talking about you and I am tired at the same time” tone.

Basically, I responded in a matter of fact tone.

My mom laughed out loud after I said it.

I was neutral the whole time.

But anyways, what about you guys?

I often have sensory issues, like most/all of us. Much of mine are touch/texture/pressure based. However one thing that I have never associated with Sensory sensitivities that MAY be related, at least tangentially, is that i always get dizzy/fatigued before a big storm (and I grew up/live in an area with Tornadoes and flash floods just about every year). Ive been lethargic for the last couple hours and I couldnt figure out why as it was a pretty normal day until then. Then the Tornado Warning sirens went off and I was like "ah, that makes sense" but then i stopped and really thought about it and thought "why?" Like i understand barometric pressure changes have had scientifically validated effects on people but its just so consistent. I guess i also get altitude sickness pretty badly when hiking in mountains.

Idk, ive just never met another person irl that experiences storms, or pre-storms, this way and i guess im just rambling without a point at this point.

Any of you relate to sensory experiences from storms like this?

To give some context, I received a late diagnosis, basically at the beginning of adulthood.

I suffer from the difficulties that someone with ASD suffers, but I don't know if the problem that affects me most is due to that. I feel very little enthusiasm daily, this has been happening since I was 13, probably due to a frustration I experienced with my parents. And since then I've lived without expecting any emotional support from them, because I knew it was something beyond their reach. In the beginning it was terrible because I was just a child, not knowing what to do, but over time I learned to live with it.

Nowadays I can manage it better, but to be honest I've never been able to feel loved again. Something inside me seems to have broken and no matter how much I try to ignore it, I've never felt the same again. The diagnosis was initially the worst thing that happened to me, because at the time I was still trying to recover from the disappointment. It's no exaggeration to say that I spent my entire adolescence depressed.

Before anyone mentions a psychologist, that didn't help me much. I've gotten emotionally worse, and if I felt bad as a teenager for giving my parents more trouble (even if it was just a request), now as an adult I wouldn't ask them for any help anymore. It's not out of pride, but because I know that part of me (the part that was initially rejected) would never be accepted by them, and all I can do is move on. Today I'm not as hurt by this fact anymore, but nobody knows how much I cried and how many times I wanted to give up on life. I'm trying to recover the sparkle in life now, after lying so much about my state.

Sometimes it hurts to know that the only thing that stopped me from doing something stupid was doing things I enjoy. I don't know if anyone here knows what that feeling is like, but it's awful to hear people say "tell us what you're feeling," "what hurt you?" when you know that if you're honest, it will only make the situation worse. And then you have to lie, you have to change the subject to avoid the sensitive topic. My parents have always been good to me, but unfortunately they are terrible listeners, very judgmental. My only way of trying to overcome this is by being a sensitive person and not judging others just for the sake of it.

Hi,

I don’t have an official diagnosis. I just want to be clear about that.

But I highly suspect I am Autistic and have ADHD. I’ve been working as a middle school counselor for a year and have come across a number of kids with an actual diagnosis of those conditions, and I am recognizing habits I had when I was their ages. Some of the behaviors I still currently do.

I have always felt like I was different from my siblings, like the way I rationalized and processed the world. It was a difference that I couldn’t really explain to anyone.

It’s been a couple of months, and I mentioned it to my Mom and an Uncle, and my uncle turned to my Mom and told her “didn’t I tell you about this when she was a child?” My mom didn’t say anything, but when I bring it up, she gets upset with me and shrugs it off, like “what are you going to do about it now?” Since I’m 32 currently. I come from an old fashioned, poor Latino family so according to my
Mom if we had shoes/clothes, food and a place to sleep, then all our needs were met.

I’m not mad at her for not doing anything about it, but an actual diagnosis would answer a lot of questions and explain a lot if I do a get diagnosis.

I don’t know where to start.

Hi everyone, I’d like to ask people on the autism spectrum: how do you put your emotions into words, and how do you manage them? I haven’t been diagnosed yet, but there’s a good chance i have significant autistic traits, etc. and btw to those who might judge me based on my self-diagnosis: save your energy—it’s pointless; you don’t know my story or who I am.

I have a really hard time understanding myself when I’m feeling bad, and very often I bottle things up until I can’t take it anymore and get overwhelmed by everything and don’t know how to handle it—on top of the fact that when I know something’s wrong, I don’t always know what I’m feeling or why. I’ve already tried meditation, breathing techniques, and all that jazz, but it’s always useless, so I figured that methods for autistic people—or at least neurodivergent people—might be more effective.

Thanks to y'all :)

Just had another violent meltdown in which I gave myself a concussion, for at least the fourth time in a year. For context, in the past I used to be more verbal with my meltdowns and I would either just scream or wail or I would say mean things to my partner if he was around like I hate him or I don’t want to be alive anymore. I do experience some SI and depression anyway but when I meltdown it’s turned up to 1000. I’ve stopped yelling so much but the urge to hit my head becomes incredibly overwhelming and quite honestly it feels relieving to do it.

I’m worried about doing more long term damage to my brain and I need to start coping better. Has anyone else experienced this before and would be willing to share things that helped you stop? Thanks in advance!

Feeling horrible and guilty over my thrown away shoes

So my mom decided to throw away my shoes since the fabric of the insole was worn away exposing the foam as well it was loose at the toes. I still wanted to keep the shoes whether it was as beaters or memory; I had the shoes for 7 years.

I intended to take the shoes away out of the bin however I forgot to recheck the exact date the garbage truck would come to collect my shoes so it got taken away with the truck.

So the thing is I feel empathy for objects, more if I had them for a long time and now I feel horrible, especially that they could have been saved easily if I wasn't a dumbass. It's my fault. I'm thinking all sorts of things like how they were cosy in my home, now they got separated from other shoes on the shoe rack, how they get separated from eachother in the trash bunker and that they will meet the horrible fate of getting incinerated. It feels unfair how I'm cozy at home, doing things while my shoes are out there getting burned. Even if I take away the feelings of my shoes, I still think about the memories I had with the shoes and that a part of my history is thrown away. I would have liked to have these shoes in my collection and to just look later back at it when I'm old. The fact the shoes won't exist anymore feels bad and I have been thinking about the shoes alot, looking at every photo that I had with the shoes, and even contacting the garbage company because doing nothing feels bad.

What can I do about these feelings? I tried to cope like now they are relieved from the of being worn or I can get them back in afterlife if it exists atleast. Also I am not even diagnosed but this isn't something regular and I have found this topic to be recurring in subreddits like these.

I will go first When i was a toddler i started speaking earlier i used that to tell my mom about Dora the explorer episode in full details from the first time i watched them and my mom was like "yah a 2year old memorize a hole 20ish min thing from the first time normal"

hello :) i'm a 17 year old girl and i've been recently diagnosed with epilepsy (JME). long before i got diagnosed with it, i've been suspecting that i might be autistic. the thing is that my parents don't really take me seriously when i'm talking about possibly being autistic :( ive made a list of all the things that made me think i might be on the autism spectrum and i'm wondering if i should mention it to my neurologist because ive heard that epilepsy and autism are often occuring together. idk if it would even make sense to tell her.

heres the list

1. Always a headache after school and anxiety on the way to school, fearing sensory overload and the necessity of masking/interacting.

2. ​Long-lasting, intense special interests (MBTI, Enneagram, Steven Universe).

3. ​Stimming (jumping on a fitness ball every evening while wearing headphones).

4. ​Issues with food, especially meat, but generally with any food that has a strange texture (specifically chicken drumsticks because they are slimy).

5. ​Feeling "dirty" at the end of the school day when I am sensorially overloaded.

6. ​Motor skills issues (clumsiness/problems with motor coordination).

7. ​Social awkwardness/uncertainty: I don't know at what point to say "hello" when I see someone I know (at what distance).

8. ​Social uncertainty: I don't know when to say "thank you" (e.g., if someone says my dog has a nice name, should I say thank you?).

9. ​Blunt honesty/literal thinking: Once, I told a girl in my class that she didn't fit into the dance group because it’s like flowers—when you arrange them, an odd number looks better 💔

10. ​I prefer spending time alone at home rather than with anyone else.

11. ​Leaving the house alone causes me anxiety, no matter the occasion.

12. ​Sensory issues with clothing: When I was little, jeans used to upset me immensely (they still annoy me, but I don't have crashouts/meltdowns over them anymore).

13. ​Sensory issues with hair: When I was little, I would start crying if someone tied my ponytail too low. It had to be super high.

14. ​Sensory issues (mainly with loud noises).

15. ​Fear of balloons (that they will pop at any moment).

16. ​Physical response to overload: When I am overstimulated (especially if I have something sticky on my hands), I do "dinosaur hands".

everyone around me says that these things are nothing like that and that i will grow out of it and it kinda makes me feel like im exaggerating. so does any diagnosed autistic feels familiar about those stuff ? i feel like i'm geniuinely going insane💔💔and idk if my neurologist is the person that i should talk about my suspected autism to.

I’m going abroad on Saturday and I wear and swim top and short. Normally just wear a normal bra underneath but I hate how it feels, was wondering what other people do, I’m an a cup so doesn’t need to be very supportive just for coverage. Tried looking for swim crop tops but all have a weird back traps and padding which I also can’t stand 🙄🙄

My brother is very clearly autistic and my parents are in denial. It was the same way with my ADHD but once I was 18 I took initiative and got myself a diagnosis. My brother on the other hand, is completely clueless on certain things but is book smart and has terrible executive dysfunction. He was given extra time in school due to slow processing and he was non-verbal until the age of 5. Due to our upbringing (abusive dad), he is ridiculed to no end for not being able to take care of himself despite being ‘smart’. He also struggled once he left school because of the lack of routine. He’s also had a lot of mental issues that have been ignored due to his rigid thinking that mental health is a fad and he should just deal with it. He hasn’t sought therapy, an autism assessment, doesn’t even go to the GP and lacks basic hygiene and cooking skills. I don’t know how to suggest to him that he needs help without him throwing a tantrum as he also looks down on ‘special’ people (ironic, I know).

He doesn’t cook or clean, is unhygienic, has to be guided by someone on anything and everything e.g I had to remind him to get student discounts when he was at uni, he doesn’t have a savings account and has poor management, he didnt ask for help at uni until the last minute causing him to do bad in final year, he is inept socially and has no friends (never reaches out to anyone even if he wants to hear from them). Someone help please.

My 2 year old can say mom and dad. He will sometimes say yeah and no. He used to say stop a lot. He will be 3 in November. He tries to talk but it comes out in screams.

He loves to walk around with handy man tools. He stubborn about being potty trained and he loves to pour out water and spraying anything in a bottle although he is terrified of getting in a bath. I still give him baths in the sink.

He sometimes walks on his tippy toes but most of my children do as their father does too. He will not keep clothes on in the house and immediately takes his socks and shoes off in the car. I’m trying to figure out if I should call his doctor. Any insight please?

For context, I am an Autistic adult and I play hockey.

I'm involved in organizing a fundraiser hockey tournament, the proceeds of which will be donated to ASAN. I'm trying to come up with ideas for team jerseys. There will be four teams. I would like to come up with one theme for each team based on common Autistic special interests, e.g. dinosaurs, trains, etc. I know those are pretty stereotypical, but I would like feedback from other Autistics and would welcome ideas for other themes or special interests to include.

I didn't know which flair to pick so I apologize if I used the wrong one.

hi :) to start, i should probably specify that i (20 nonbinary) have had this issue since i could eat solids, and i was wondering if anyone else experiences this. i am unsure if questions like this are allowed on here (haven’t used reddit in a long long time) but bleh.
i cannot tolerate contrasting flavor pallets. at all. if i am eating an otherwise savory dish (that is supposed to be savory) and there’s any hint of sweetness, or sourness, i will immediately lose my appetite. and i am quite frankly wondering if it is autism (sensory) related. thank you :-)

There's literally nothing

My mother says I have no compassion. This happened because I didn't want to share my ice cream with my brother ( all he will do is slobber all over it) so before I ate mine I gave him options but he didn't want anything so he went into a line of asking why for 20 minutes towards everyone in the room. My mother was already frustrated and was telling me to share. I didn't want to and gave my little brother options. My mom went onto this rant of saying that I have no compassion and it doesn't matter I should have hid my things if I didn't want them to ask for it. But my argument was that even though he's still little he should start to learn that he can't have everything just because he whines for it. But my mom said that I have no compassion and that my life is filled with things she doesn't like or agree with. Am I wroung for not sharing? I don't really understand why I should have I get that he's little but it's still mine.

Edit - I know this seems very trivial but I get so confused on like these type of social rules that overtime its just all that I think about. I don't wanna be a bad person but I don't want to do things that I don't want to do that don't really make much sense.

My partner and I (mid-20s) have been living together for a few years now with his parents and we’ve always struggled with deciding what to eat for the week. His parents don’t get groceries or typically eat at home, they graze and eat frozen food, it’s very strange.

I can decide what to eat ahead and have leftovers for days but I’m often too tired to cook in the evening. My preferences don’t change, and if a planned dish doesn’t work out I’m always fine to switch to something easier like cereal. I often struggle with knowing when I’m hungry or full.

My partner, though, is unable to choose ahead of time and might not be able to eat anything we have depending on his sensory needs and energy to cook. I tried to alleviate this by getting a bunch of canned foods but the choices are limited and we’re not able to have our choices visible in this house so it hasn’t worked; our food gets stolen.

The only thing that seems to work is ordering takeaway all the time since there’s a variety of choices and textures available, but since our exercise is super limited and we’re not able to drive anywhere ourselves, we’re not able to lose weight and stuff so it’s a massive struggle.

When we get groceries we pretty much always have to order those too. Sometimes we can plan ahead like we decided to have fish today and everything aligned so we managed to get it done, but then the quality was super poor so we weren’t able to actually eat it and had to get takeaway again. Slowly going broke because there’s never anything that’s both always safe to eat and affordable.

I feel like if we ordered groceries to eat deconstructed or in pieces, it just won’t be as filling as a full meal and we’d find ourselves getting takeaway again.

Any suggestions or recommendations?

All of this other shit is so mundane, I can't give a fuck anymore. I want to increase it

I (17f) have a long history of constant episodes of depression. Spoken to CAHMS (uk NHS funded mental health service) about this and they said it is due to my autism.

When I go depressed I get really depressed, I shut down, I cry practically all day, I stop talking, stop taking care of hygiene etc. I am TERRIFIED of these episodes to the point I will do anything in my power to try and distract myself from the feeling yet the inevitable happens. Small misplaces in my life tend to trigger these events.

I am well aware (no matter how much I do not want to accept it) I will be dealing with this my whole life. That thought makes me feel sick to my stomach. I need ways to distract myself when I am depressed due to the fact I do SH and have frequent thoughts of committing.

I will literally try ANYTHING people suggest to get me through those tough weeks. It not only affects me, but my relationship w my bf and I do not want to impact that. Please tips!