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“See all of these churches? I built them all, but am I called Peter the church builder? No.
See all of these roads? I paved them all, but am I called Peter the road paver? No.
See all of these fences? I built them all, but am I called Peter the fence builder? No.
But you fuck one sheep...” - an old European proverb
It is, highly recommend that show (or the Manga even, your choice). The recurring bit of the MMC lying about being on his period is one of my favorite bits
A backpacker is traveling through Ireland when it starts to rain. He decides to wait out the storm in a nearby pub. The only other person at the bar is an older man staring at his drink. After a few moments of silence the man turns to the backpacker and says in a thick Irish accent:
"You see this bar? I built this bar with my own bare hands. I cut down every tree and made the lumber myself. I toiled away through the wind and cold, but do they call me McGreggor the bar builder? No."
He continued "Do you see that stone wall out there? I built that wall with my own bare hands. I found every stone and placed them just right through the rain and the mud, but do they call me McGreggor the wall builder? No."
"Do ya see that pier out there on the lake? I built that pier with my own bare hands, driving each piling deep into ground so that it would last a lifetime. Do they call me McGreggor the pier builder? No."
It's because modern sexuality is governed more by power structures and needs to create strict lines between genders and what they are allowed to do in order to maintain power at the patriarchal class
If women are sexual with each other in a non-serious way, that is less threatening than a man taking on a womanly role. For example, I've heard many men say that if they had to have sex with a guy they would rather be the penetrator and not the one being penetrated because somehow being penetrated means you're more gay, or bitch made.
” Being a bitch", that is to say penetrated, As a negative is a deeply misogynistic idea. The idea is saying that any deviation from heteronormativity for men lowers them to the womanly class. For instance, blurring the lines between sex by cross-dressing is more allowed for women but less allowed for men. That is because for women they are moving up in class by becoming men but for men they move down.
Maybe she was trying to imply that women can be more....touchy with each other? Also maybe wear more sexy cloth? What I mean is that no one really going to pat an eye if two girls are holding hands or hug each other but would if it two guys. As for the "sexy cloth", like crop tops and midriffs are "feminine" but a guy can't really do that? I am just spitballijg here.
My interpretation is that a lot of women are some level of bisexual and literally have never realized it, due to a combination of teen girls being affectionate with each other in general, and the sexualization of women in the media makes a lot of women think that they’re just “appreciating beautiful women” when they’re actually attracted to them.
I’ve heard a surprising number of adults who say teen girls liking other girls is a phase because most of those girls end up marrying men. …or maybe it’s because those girls are bisexual, and they marry men in part because, given a choice, life is much easier as a heterosexual woman than as a gay woman?
So basically, teen goth girl is saying “I like girls” and her mom is like “oh yeah me too no biggie”
I recall reading something about relationships between girls at all girls schools (maybe specifically in Japan?) being seen as acceptable because they interpret it as “practice” for “real” relationships after graduation
Yeah, or really just the concept of "romantic friendships" in general. It was seen as a more-or-less acceptable way for kids to start understanding the emotions of a relationship without facing the physical consequences of dating the opposite sex. And specifically for Japan there's not really much stigma about the gay sex, it's violating gender roles that results in pushback. Which can still be vicious, but it's not a matter of "sin."
To go a little deeper on that, Japanese women around the turn of the century still lacked legal personhood, but education was increasingly valued for women and a lot of urban girls would go to all-girls schools with dorms. Before girls arrived they were under the legal ownership of their father, and soon after they left they'd get married and enter the control of their husbands, and then even if the husband died they would be under the control of their eldest son.* But school life meant for a few years there they didn't neatly slot into the system, they belonged to themselves.
So like a big reason for those Japanese "gay until graduation" sorta stories was that it simply described growing up for a gay girl. She could not just decline to get married. Romance and love lasted until graduation, and then after that you just had to hope your husband was at least nice.
*Also why comfort women were such a thing in ww2. Men could legally sell their daughters and sisters to brothels. The abuse was particularly bad in occupied territories like Korea, but it happened in Japan as well. There was a black market of men abducting women, claiming a relationship, and selling her into sexual slavery. It was only the abducting, not the selling into slavery part that was illegal.
I mean i feel like just statistically bi people are more likely to end up in an opposite gender relationship simply because there's a bigger pool to pick from. There's defintly that aspect of facing less social scrutiny too though.
I mean I can also just say. I am bi. I ended up with a bi partner of the opposite gender. Just out of everything, I feel like that is just so much easier in so many regards than any other option. I have dated some straight women, the fact that I was bi always loomed MASSIVELY in their head, because the moment I even mentioned "oh that character is attractive" they always clearly lost their shit. Meanwhile current partner is like "LMAO I KNOW RIGHT!?"
To clarify, it very much was about me liking men too. No such reaction when it was a female character.
Interestingly there is data on both of those things, here are just two. This first one is regarding Americans' attitude towards bisexuality of men and women:
A large number of men will not identify as Bisexual or queer, but will self-identify when surveyed as "men who have sex with men."
There is so much stigma toward men voluntarily identifying as a member of the LGBT community, whether from religious trauma, social pressure, internalized homophobia, or just plain ignorance.
its cus its far more normalized for girls to be affectionate with each other and also to be more open with their feelings and emotionally aware. so they often have more opportunities for exploring themselves and finding out theyre bisexual. meanwhile if a guy is affectionate or more emotionally aware he’s called “girly” and “gay.” (which is seen negatively in society) especially if the ppl around him are the type that expect boys to not cry, not like pink, like trucks instead of dolls, etc etc. so exploring sexuality isnt very common for guys. i think a lot of guys are also bisexual and just never realised it.
Nah, that's too far IMO. maybe more people are bi than they realize but to say that completely straight or completely gay people just don't exist is kind of ridiculous
I don't think so. I think there are a lot of people out there who are bi without realising, but there are still many people who are just 100% hetero or homo.
Guys used to be able to hold hands and be physically affectionate to guy friends and no one cared. It was normal. Things changed during the 20th century cause homosexual became a distinct identity and was demonised.
My crackpot theory is the reason guys seem more "desperate" comes from being touch starved due to society deeming it weird for platonic male friends to make physical contact compared to female friends.
These are the type of comments your parents make that completely fly over your head at the time, until years later when it leads to a bunch of comment chains like right here
They genuinely do. I was on an overnight school trip and 2 girls showed together and the most anyone thought is “are the lesbians? Nah Paige has a BF… but he kinda girly looking”
I think it is highly contextual. I ultimately think that in broad terms religion sinks the idea, but in limited contexts I think it can be pretty true.
Things like sex toys definitively, but that's about as far as I'm willing to go with "definitively".
Men arent even allowed to be nice to eachother or have a friend hug without the gay phobia setting in.... it actually makes me dislike being friends with stright men who care about being manly as they become so boring because being human or having fun become gay or a threat to their masculinity.
My friend Billy told me once that him another dude we knew took a weekend to just try the whole thing out. Kissing, blow jobs, anal, the whole shebang. Just to see how it shook out. Billy is married to a lady now and the other dude became a drug addict.
I feel like you've got to have at least a little bit of same-sex attraction to even think that you might be into that, especially for a full weekend. That being said, he could be bi-leaning-straight (bi attraction isn't always a 50/50 split), but still get a bit of a rise out of dudes under certain circumstances.
Literally right here is what I always tell people, yeah I’m bi but I’m so picky with men it’s ridiculous, while I’m not picky at all with women. I just find almost any form of a women attractive while I find very specific men attractive, therefore I’m technically bi but closer to the straight end of the spectrum
Everything's gotta be taglines and ratios and titles doesnt it? The world look prettier when you pack it into convenient little boxes? Gonna go label the sun next? That thing makes rainbows must be pretty gay, yea? Maybe i just wanna get my back blown out to know if it lives up to the hype. Maybe it leads to 20 years of planning a haberdasherie on the side of a bed and breakfast in Vermont.maybe its not gay to kiss another man. Maybe, just maybe its Mabeline.
Apparently there was a huge research done into all men schools in the UK over decades
Lock a lot of boys in peak of puberty and they will start... Bonding
Iirc the thing is they had like, multi year relationships where they'd be together for years
BUT!
After leaving these schools, the actual rate of coming out or continuing to date or sleep with men wasn't any higher than any other social group in general. Like, at all.
And they ran this research for like twenty years it's incredibly thorough
So, the point is, even if you had years of this out of necessity, or tried it out of curiosity, I guess you're still not gay in the end
I know its a huge stereotype and I dont want to encourage misogyny, but almost every girl i knew in college who was a lesbian their freshman year (there were quite a few) is now married to a man.
I think, and im ignorant, that it might be cool if sexuality wasnt an identity but an option. Im boring, a man married to a woman in America, so I never want to dismiss other folks experience. I guess what im saying is: consenting adults who want to, should have sex with each other. Unless you are a person trying to have sex with me, or im trying to have sex with you, its none of my buisness.
Bisexuality is common and for the bi folk, there's about fifty times as many potential partners of the opposite sex so- that all tracks, especially in eras where bisexuality was more unknown or judged so the lesbian label got used more.
It's a huge source of bitterness, too. White women in particular don't lose that sense of white women being 'theirs' and them having first dibs. Imagine a Karen but her 100% believing she has the right to be your girlfriend (and your date isn't white and is a guy) but fully believing shes not racist or misogynist because she's gay
Happened once in 7 years in was in, it almost started a brawl, the southern black guys and dirty white boys weren't happy with having to see two of the diver prove they weren't gay. One of the divers later that night got caught eating out a chick in a passages way right next to the smoking deck. It wasn't his wife and of course it one of the dirty white boys that had a crush on the chick that caught them.
Good times, for me I got to watch all this go down and not be apart of any of it.
Edit: For equality stake my NY lesbian friend did tell me about alot shower encounters too!
There is a scale of the amount of masculinity you like versus the amount of femininity you like. There are some people who exclusively prefer men or women. That said, people who claim it’s a choice and that bisexuals don’t exist are typically bisexuals who felt forced to make the choice.
Doesn't that just make your dad bi but he chose a het relation? And he assumes everyone feels how he does because he doesn't realize that not everyone is attracted the way he is?
That is actually relatively common. There's a term for it, but sadly I've forgotten it. It's like asexuality but you can (usually unexpectedly) gain sexual attraction to someone. Usually someone you've been in a positive relationship with for some time.
Oddly enough both my girls are into anime and games, worked for us since it lets us play games together and I’ve often said we’ve found our player 3 to mutual friends when we introduce her
Lol my wife is the same way (though without the poly), she will be thirsty over fictional girls all day long, would never consider being in a relationship with a real woman though.
Its fine by me though, I have no intentions of sharing
Every single adult woman in my life that its come up in conversation with has experimentated with other women. Its interesting for sure. Some more than others.
That is the actual intention of the author, who has had the mom show up in other comics and say similar things suggesting she’s not as straight as she thinks. Including going “NICE” when the girl announced to her parents she has two girlfriends.
Yeah, there’s also a lot of weird “male default-ism”. By which I mean that people assume any attraction towards guys must be your main attraction. If a girl likes both, she’s “straight and experimenting”, if a guy likes both, he’s “gay and confused”
... I'm cis male here, so I KNOW I'm on the outside looking in. But I will say I've known a LOT of females who have at least "experimented", so, maybe not wrong?
I mean, my anecdotal experience shows that to be true. Almost all of my girl friends had a lesbein phase in middle school high-school or college. It always irked me. Sexuality shouldn't be a "phase" to try on. But I'm not gay so maybe I just don't get it.
Yah I'm certain a few of those girls it helped them and they genuinely needed to think about it. I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
To counter your point I really do think there is a bit of a phase at around that age. Hormones are raging and you’re still trying to figure out what it means to be attracted to people so you explore a bit, realize you’re not into what you thought and then discover what you’re actually into.
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