Hello everyone,
I am a parent with CUSTODY of my younger siblings, I co-parent with our biological parents. Apparently in another subreddit I am "not a parent" nor "coparenting" so I put the tag down as to not offend anyone on our unique situation.
One of my siblings like to "save" her toys and hide them in her closet so they will never get ruined. She often asks me to buy her two of the same toy so she can play with one guilt free and not ruin the other one. Im often okay doing this if the toy is cheap enough, but I want her to play with her very expensive toys that I or her parents saved up for and that she was really excited about but has this consistent fear.
My mom constantly just takes them out of the closet and throws it onto the floor so she sees it, or takes it into the living room play area for her sister to play with, but this does not work. It ends up causing distrust and high stress, she sometimes cries or gets very frustrated that we broke her trust and took out a toy without permission. Ive tried explaining that she will eventually grow out of toys and regret not playing with them but shes still too nervous to play with them. How can I help improve this behavior? I don't want this to manifest into adulthood because now she is not using "special" pencils or erasers and hiding them away too. Im not sure if this is a bad habit either, but it feels like a waste to me. Any and all help appreciated! I want to be empathetic but end this habit.

So My husband's grandma raised him since he was a little guy. She is by all accounts his mama. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer and she raised hell for a year but it had taken its toll.

We traveled to see her Friday knowing that this would be the last time we saw her. She said she was holding on until we got there and Saturday morning she went with her maker.

My kiddos absolutely adored her. My son and her were kindred spirits. Like little soulmates. They knew she was sick and when we'd go see her they'd bring her bandaids and their favorite stuffies so she could snuggle them.

We have talked about heaven and how daddy's parents, their grandparents are in heaven watching down on us. But they never met any of them so they don't really get what we are saying. But they were very close to GiGi and my son asked me last night when we were going to see her again. My heart is breaking every second we don't tell them but I just don't know how to start the conversation or a way to help them kinda get it.

Any ideas?

im 14M, my mom is 49F and shes been working on duty rosters and patient feedback and whatnot a LOT lately and i try to talk to her/subtly exist around her to let her know im here but to no avail.

even though she always works very hard im getting an ominous feeling that its worse this time round, i overheard her on the phone questioning resigning and all and im scared :(. i do (enough) chores, i study well, i talk to her and go out with her as much as i can but shes still really stressed. and i have an idiot of an older brother who doesnt understand the gravity of the situation and is so carefree (even though he has his future determining o levels this year, for gods sake). what do i do??? i dont want her to be sad

I had my kids back to back (18 months gap - would’ve been less gap but struggled falling pregnant). When my third child was born, it was just 3 under 3. I admitted defeat when 3 was born and realised I was playing a very hard game and couldn’t continue with another, even though I think children are amazing gifts.

My son is 4 and I finally feel like it’s getting easier, but I have a lot of guilt. I know how precious those years were but we did spend a lot of time napping when we should’ve been outside. I did give them a lot more screen time than I wanted. And there were times they ate a lot more uber eats/mcdonalds/air fryer pizzas than they should have. It’s not like that anymore. I try and always do the best by them now that it is a bit easier.

Not to give you a long boring backstory but if anyone cares, reasons I think I found it harder:
-Was a broke 20 year old, same with hubby. I turned 25 when baby 3 was born. Now we are 30s we realise we should have bought a house first. Rental market is kicking our ass. Have a lot of debt because of moving costs/car dying costs.
-Poor sleep with baby 2 and 3. Especially 3. He honestly didn’t start sleeping till he was about 2.
-Had perinatal/post partum depression with all 3 kids. Also when he was 2 I felt like myself again.
-Had no one besides husband. If we were sick, it was all us. If we were sleep deprived, it was all us. Had an appointment, it was us watching the baby or taking them with us.

My oldest is 7 now and I am trying my hardest to invest in this stage of her life and really show up mentally, emotionally, physically etc. But I think there will always be a part of me that wishes I could redo it over with more money, more help, more patience, more sleep, more love. I think this is why our parents always love on our grandchildren so hard. It’s a version of mini us that reminds them how things should been.

Thank you if you listened to my long post lol

I know this is a trivial question, but it’s also the bane of my existence. My parents year old WILL NOT keep anything in her hair. I only care for the purpose of keeping it out of her eyes. She had bangs, but it became impossible to cut them and she had an unfortunate haircut for a little bit. I’ve tried books and videos to encourage her, doing her doll’s hair, all of those things.

Do I just have to just give up and wait until she changes? Help lol. My only “rule” is that I do not want her to have a short haircut. Thanks

I've noticed that many mothers actively guide their daughters through puberty. They discuss body changes, emotions, periods, safety, relationships, and many other concerns.

Interestingly Fathers are also becoming more involved at this stage with their daughters, which is great.

But I rarely hear the same father having similar conversations with his sons.

Did you talk to your son about puberty, attraction, emotions, relationships, respect for girls, boundaries, and the changes he would experience as he grew up?

At the same time did you guide your son about the changes a girl came across during adolescence? Why does the same girl is notised differently than he did as a child?

If yes, how did you approach those conversations?

If not, what made it difficult?

I genuinely wonder whether boys receive less guidance during puberty than girls.

May be that's why Many boys are expected to figure these things out on their own. Instead of learning from parents, they often learn from friends, social media, or the internet.

Hopefully an open conversations between fathers and sons could help young boys navigate adolescence in a healthier way.

I also think boys should be taught about the changes girls experience, and girls should be taught about the changes boys experience. Understanding each other's struggles can create empathy and reduce teasing, bullying, and misunderstandings.

I'd love to hear fathers' experiences and perspectives.

Ultimately, the little girl is back with her mom and everything is fine. But I'd like to know if what I was doing is right, or if what this other woman did was right, or what. The whole event I'm about to describe only took 3 minutes or so.

I (38F) was at crowded baseball game with my son (4), on the concourse, and he had just sat down for a charicature drawing. A very small girl, probably two, wandered past with visible tear tracks on her cheeks, and she was alone. I watched for a second, looked for a parent, then made eye contact with a nearby female ballpark employee, who shrugged and said, "Her mom's over there, I don't know what she's doing." I couldn't see the mom, but no one seemed to be looking except me and the usher, so I decided to follow the girl to help her get back. I told my son to stay put, and I knew he was okay because he was literally sitting for a portrait.

I started following the little girl and tried to get her attention. I held out my hand and said something like, "hi sweetie, let's get you back to mama." She was Not Interested in engaging with me, but I kept following and trying the same strategy. She was walking in a wide circle around the food kiosks, but kind of back in the direction of where we started. Definitely out of view of Mom, if she was still where I thought she was. I got some other female employees' attention just so there were plenty of people with eyes in the situation.

At this point another woman, who had mom or teacher energy, much more aggressive than mine, clocked what was happening, verified I wasn't the girl's mom, then scooped up the kid, saying, "No, you can't go any further. We're going back to Mom." Then she started carrying her, walking with me, back to where Mom probably was. The usher from the beginning was watching and helped us reconnect with the mom.

I slowly faded into the background at this point, but I heard the real mom, who had a baby strapped on front, say "oh it's fine, I was watching her the whole time..." Which I really didn't like. This girl was So Small, and she was definitely out of sight and Far Away. And this at a crowded MLB game. The more aggressive rescuer mom walked away with the real mom and I went back to my son. I have to assume she was giving her a piece of her mind.

When it was all over I realized my heart was absolutely racing. I know I didn't do the Wrong thing, but what's the Right thing? I found aggressive rescue mom's approach effective but somehow too much? I didn't want to freak the kid out. I left the situation feeling such dread for the little girl.

What should I/we have done differently?

On mobile, please pardon typos.

Ma fille en classe de ce2 a reçu un livre « je suis unique » pour les élèves de ce2 cm1 cm2 par son établissement scolaire. Dedans ils leur demandent de marquer le nom des appareils génitaux garçon et fille avec des dessin très clair de ce qu’ils possèdent. Ensuite il doivent se dessiner tout nue et dire ce qu’ils préfèrent chez eux. Personnellement je trouve ce livre très déplacé mais selon vous est ce normal ?

It could be anything - if you're trying to raise your kids as Christians, what if they turned atheist or Muslim? Or if you're trying to raise them as atheists, what if they come home talking about Jesus? How would you deal with this situation?

hello all! i'm 14/almost 15F, and for reference, i am asian. my parents are strict, and have extremely high standards for my future.

ok so, for the longest time, i've LOVED film making. i edit videos and post them on tiktok, and have gained a good amount of followers from doing so. i've always wanted to be a filmmaker or writer, as it's something i'm extremely passionate about. i was recently offered to get training for how to properly direct things (such as film, theatre, etc), and i could earn a lot of credits from doing so.

i told my parents about the offer, and they were really upset about it and gave me a lecture, stating that i would end up 'homeless' and 'poor' because of it. they said that i should just be studying in the medical field instead. the thing is, i'm not great at science, so i highly doubt i'd be able to get anywhere in the medical profession if i do so.

i want to pursue in film making, as it's genuinely something i love, but i don't know how to get their approval on it. any help? i've told them in the past that it's something that i truly do enjoy, but they just dismissed it.

I have a 2 year old and I want to ask the question, do you allow your children in your bedroom?

Whats made me wonder is that ive recently stopped my child from being in my room as he had a potty training accident on my new shoes which I didn't give him into trouble for, its an accident and it happens, but to follow on to that he took a small candle out of its metal case, you know the little tealights? And sat it on some old ds game cases, the candle then melted in the heat and destroyed the covers of them. After this I decided he wouldn't be allowed in my room as its where I keep all the stuff for my hobbies and collectibles.

I feel a bit bad about this but as a kid i was never allowed in my mother's room and it didn't really bother me, shes changed now and allows my younger sisters to sit in her room to watch the small TV and my sons father said he doesn't really care if he goes in or not because he doesn't keep material collectable items and he works away a lot of the time anyway. To prevent him sneaking in if im nkt looking I put a latch on the very top of the door only I can reach, just a little hook system.

Overall im just curious how other parents handle boundaries regarding personal spaces and items, I may let him go in my room when hes older and more aware of the value of some items but for now I think id just like to climate the chances of anything else getting ruined.

Is anyone else concerned about very young kids riding e-bikes on busy roads?

I’ve been noticing something more and more lately, and honestly it makes me nervous every time I see it. There are groups of what look like 7- 10 year old kids riding e-bikes on roads with 45 mph speed limits around my area. This is not a one off event either. I’m seeing multiple children doing this every single day.

I’m not talking about kids riding bicycles in their neighborhood or on a greenway. I’m talking about young children riding motorized bikes on actual roads alongside cars, trucks, and other traffic. Not in a bike lane, but on the road like a car would be on the road.

What concerns me is that you can’t legally drive a car on public roads without learning the rules of the road, understanding traffic signs, right of way laws, lane positioning, and demonstrating that you can safely operate a car. Yet I regularly see children who are years away from even being eligible for a learner’s permit riding e-bikes in traffic.

Many of them aren’t wearing helmets. I’ve seen kids ride side-by-side in the road, weave around traffic, dart across intersections, and generally ride in ways that make it clear they don’t fully understand how dangerous these roads can be.

The reality is that even responsible adults get hit by distracted drivers. People text while driving. People speed. Some drive impaired. Accidents happen. A child on an e-bike has almost no protection if something goes wrong.

I’m not blaming the kids. They’re kids. They don’t always understand risk the way adults do. My concern is that we’re putting very young children in situations that require judgment and road awareness that most adults spend years learning.

Maybe I’m just noticing it more lately, but every time I see an elementary school-aged child riding an e-bike on a 45 mph road, I can’t help thinking it’s only a matter of time before someone gets seriously hurt.

Is anyone else seeing this where they live, or am I overreacting?

We got a sandbox for our toddler a few months ago. The first few times she played in it, she got a rash all over her hands and arms. Then it started happening to me. It's like 30 seconds after touching the sand I start feeling this stinging feeling. She no longer gets a rash and has never complained of discomfort. Has anyone else experienced this? What could it be? We got the specific sandbox sand from home depot... So it's incredibly fine and soft.

My son just turned 10. I’m considering buying him a 13” electric push mower to help mow the yard while I multitask by supervising and using a larger model.

I feel like a 13” electric would be extremely light weight for him to handle. And its shorter battery life (30 minutes) could be his stopping point so he doesn’t get overheated or overworked. I feel that would be reasonable.

I was helping my dad mow at that age. Maybe even a bit younger and I used a gas push mower until I earned my dad’s trust to use the rider. (I have an old rider but while my son would be helping, I’d use my push mower too so he didn’t feel cheated.)

Am I correct to think he’s old enough to expand his weekend chores to include helping mow? He doesn’t have a long list to begin with. His list currently has:

Keep your bedroom tidy.

Keep your playroom tidy.

Feed & water your pets.

Throw laundry down laundry chute on Sundays.

Set the table for dinner.

Clean up your messes.

I was constantly told this growing up by my dad. "If you're getting bullied, be a man and stand up for yourself. If someone hurts you? Hurt them back."

How did this go? Well, my reputation in my first year of High School certainly went down the drain when I broke the nose of someone who insulted me.

Personally? If you're being physically hurt, yes, son, hit them. But if you're being insulted? Just laugh it off.

Hi, curious what parents wish they would have taught their kids about money, finances or just small habits well before their kids got their first jobs?

I had always been taught to save something like 20% of paychecks, whats the rule of thumb now?

I (18f) have been sleeping in the living room for almost two years now. I don’t really mind the sleeping arrangement—the couch is comfy, I’m usually out of the house (school + work) so I don’t see a huge need for a room. My dad (59m) was unemployed for a while and when he finally got a job, it required him to work from home with specific requirements for the room. So, we made my old room the office, and he also uses it as his bedroom.

However, my biggest issue the past years has been that every night, at about 1am and 2am, my dad comes downstairs. Usually, the first time is to go outside and smoke (but he’ll be outside for like half an hour) and the second time is to cook food and make a drink. I know it’s his house as well, but it’s frustrating trying to sleep when he’s cooking something on the stove and the overhead fan is on full speed, or when I finally want some alone time or privacy but he’s constantly downstairs. I’m hardly at home anyway, and I just wish that for the short time I’m home and awake, I could have a little privacy.

I’ve brought it up multiple times, both to him and my mom (who is also frustrated). Every time, it starts a huge screaming match, and then he doesn’t change. I don’t want to argue, I just want him to stop coming down all the time. How do I ask him without starting an argument?

TLDR I live downstairs in the living room and every night my dad goes downstairs waking me up, and when I bring it up he argues. How can I ask him to stop?

probably not the right sub to ask about this, but here we go!

i have a 7 month old niece. she was born while i was in college, so i wasn't able to be around her for the majority of her life already.

whenever i would go home for school breaks, her parents (my brother and his gf) would drop her off to visit, and she was doing relatively well with me holding her (probably because she didn't develop the "stranger danger" trait yet). i recently came back for summer break, and i will be here until late august.

when i was still away for school, her mom would drop her off at my parent's house once a week (so she can get used to being around my parents, which has been successful after the 4th visit). now that i'm here for the next couple of months, the main goal is to get her also being used to me.

the main problem is, since she probably doesn't recognize me because i've been gone, i am now no longer able to hold her without her immediately beginning to cry. during the first week of me being back, her mom dropped her off for the weekly visit, and she seemed to have extreme "stranger danger" during that time. i could somewhat interact with her, but she would start crying whenever she looked at me. it stopped after a while that day, so now she can look at me and not freak out thankfully.

overall, i am able to interact with her in other ways (like being close to her and giving her food and toys and trying to play with her) but the main hurdle is that i cannot hold her. every time i try, she will cry the entire time until i hand her back to her parents or her grandparents (my parents) and then she will immediately stop. even if i try to hold her close to me, she'll push me away (lol)

i went to her parent's place earlier today (as another way to attempt to bond) and she still cried when my brother handed her to me, even when he was trying to keep her distracted.

what can i do for this upcoming visit? i would like to be an involved aunt in some way, especially so my mom can get a break when she's busy and can't tend to a crying baby :<

My son will be eight this summer and is technically entering third grade. We have homeschooled up to this point and were very consistent and successful until the last six months – we had significant issues at home (relationship ended, relocated 1000 miles) That made the homeschooling situation more difficult and in this struggle, I realized I needed to enroll him in public school to avoid any future issues with my own accountability. I am currently working with an online curriculum and trying to get him caught up to start third grade in the fall, but there are a few areas he is struggling and more than anything emotionally he is very nervous and has self doubt. I do not doubt his intelligence or ability to catch up with other third graders, but on the social level starting public school as a whole for the very first time is just another layer I’m trying to manage. I am considering holding him back and starting him in second grade this year so he can have a slow roll introduction into schooling structure as well as a fresh start with the second grade curriculum that he did not finish yet. I can rush through the summer and have him finish the curriculum, but I just wonder if that’s the best choice. Also to note being a summer baby if he does continue into third grade he will be one of the younger children in his class. Any and all advice is appreciated!

They’ve always argued from time to time, and sometimes it can get pretty bad. They’re both at fault in different ways, but my mum can become violent when things escalate.

When she’s sober, she’s genuinely one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. But whenever she and my stepdad have a serious argument, she turns to alcohol, and that’s when everything spirals. I’ve seen them argue before and I’ve seen how bad she can get, but last night was probably the worst I’ve ever experienced.

My sister usually works late, so she doesn’t witness any of it. It’s normally me who ends up stepping in when things get out of hand. Last night, I walked into the room and my mum was throwing furniture around. She threw a large glass vase at me, along with her wine glass. I’ve ended up with cuts all over my body.

At that point, I had to pin her down on the floor and asked my stepdad to call the police, but he refused. I wasn’t trying to hurt her—I was only trying to stop her from hurting herself or anyone else. While I was holding her down, she was saying some really hurtful things to me, telling me, “Don’t ever call me Mum again,” and “You’re no son of mine.” She also kept saying she wanted to go back home to Asia and never see my face again.

I think she believes I’m taking my stepdad’s side, but that’s not true at all. Eventually she calmed down and went to bed, but this morning she’s still angry and doesn’t want to speak to any of us except my sister. The problem is that my sister is supposed to be going on holiday today, so she won’t be around. I honestly don’t know what to do or how to approach my mum right now, and I’m struggling myself because the whole situation has really affected me.

Like I said, when she’s sober she’s a wonderful person, but she simply can’t control her drinking. I’ve been telling her for years that alcohol is becoming a serious problem and that she needs to slow down, but she never listens.

Part of me worries that if she did go back home permanently, things would only get worse. I’m afraid she’d end up drinking even more, partying constantly, and making even more destructive decisions.

The difficult thing is that my mum lives a very privileged life. She cheated on my biological dad when I was very young and eventually got together with my stepdad. My stepdad is fairly wealthy, so she doesn’t work. He provides for her and gives her pretty much anything she wants.

To be fair, he’s also done a lot for our family, particularly for her side of the family in Asia. My stepdad has sent them money whenever she’s asked, bought her a large house back home, and even helped create several businesses there in her name. At the same time, I think she feels he can be controlling. For example, if she wanted to go out partying with friends, he’d often strongly disapprove or tell her not to go.

I’m not saying we should blindly agree with everything he says just because he has money. But I do think she sometimes forgets how much he’s done for her and for her family. The truth is that without his support, we probably wouldn’t be where we are today.

She’s angry with me because she thinks I listen to my stepdad more than I listen to her. The reality is that I’m trying to be objective. If I followed some of the choices she’s made, I’m worried I’d end up going down the same path she has.

As of me writing this, it's been almost 2 years since I've played in a campaign. My last campaign shut down due to the dm experiencing burnout and there were a couple players that were an issue, but I had fun with them for about over four years, which is about half the time I've spent in the hobby. I've played a few west marches style games here and there and I want to join a new campaign sometime, but the primary problem is with my parents. I'm an adult, a man, 24 years old, and I know that it sounds silly that parents would be in my way at my age, but due to external factors such as a shitty job market(I do have a job rn), I have no choice but to live with them. They are well-meaning, at least most of the time I think, but in their well-meaningness, they are unable to see how they get in my way. They would freak out and worry about how I'm going to eat dinner(This kept happening, even when I was 23, btw) whenever I announced that my group's schedule changed or would try to get me to leave the group whenever I just had one bad session. I get the obvious answer would to just "talk it out" or "establish boundaries" I've tried voicing my honest thoughts and they get mad or raise their voice at me like I'm some ungrateful brat. I've kinda just mentally checked out from trying to reason with them, since if they can not put the ego of them being my parents aside and talk with me like an adult, I cannot reason with them. At the same time, there's also been moments in the past where they've been frustrated and they've went "D&D, huh? I wish you didn't care!" because we were working on something and it conflicted with getting the thing done(Mind, you, I would tell my group that I was going to be late or couldn't make it and then told my parents I was fine with being late.) And then they ask me "Why don't you play D&D anymore?" there is a part of me that wants to tell them "I'm looking at the reason why!" but I always tell it to shut up because it just make things worse.

An even bigger problem is that this extends to so many other parts of my life. They always have someone in mind when it comes to me finding a girlfriend or will say things like "Well, if you want to attract a girl, you should do this..." Like that is the part of my life where they are least welcome and I haven't even tried because I've always been worried about whether or not they'll like her. Eventually I just settled with the understanding of "If we find one, we don't tell them unless marriage/kids gets involved." And even with my working situation, they'll go "Well, if you want better, you should dress better!" Dude, I work in a clean room under a hot frock and even the group-leads and supervisors wear T-shirts and Jeans most of the time, I'll dress up when I need to.

I know the term "Nanny Mode" is strong here, but it fits as far as I'm concerned. I'm working on projects to give myself a better chance, but this has been bugging me for a long time now. I'm not asking for group invites or platform recommendations, I just wanted to express myself to someone other than therapistGPT and have some kind of human feedback for a change.

It is not a novel statement to say that I hate being physically uncomfortable. The real question would be who does??? I hate headaches, I hate stomachaches, I hate cramps, I hate nausea. I try to minimize all these things through diet and exercise and water drinking and blah blah.

It seems pregnancy is kind of a cost-benefit thing (?) How badly do you want a child to be able to put up with all of these physical tolls? From extremely mild to extremely difficult, it seems there is still a physical cost to be paid.

How did you reconcile with choosing pregnancy knowing there would be this cost, or did you not think of it at all? How do you do it again knowing what’s to come from the first experience?

On our way back from soccer practice yesterday, my husband's son (let's call him Alex. He's 15) said some things to two black women on the side of the road. He called them the n-word and a few other things right as I was turning the corner.

I'm pretty sure they heard it since our windows were rolled down, but I don't think they saw us since they weren't facing us at first.

I was so embarrassed that I accelerated without even thinking about it. We didn't talk the rest of the ride home. I spoke to my husband about it but he doesn't think it's a big deal. He said 'every boy has a racist phase at 15'

He's only been my husband for 4months at this point but we've been serious since 2024. He knows that my best friend is a black woman but when I mentioned that he only said 'well he wasn't talking to her now was he?'

Alex isn't a bad kid. He has good grades and a lot of friends, some who are even black too. His current girlfriend is biracial so I really don't know where this came from at all.

I feel betrayed and confused above all. This is entirely new. I don't want to leave the situation like this however. I feel like I should say something to Alex, but I don't know what since I only recently married his dad who refuses to say anything to him about it.

Any advice?

I wasn't sure if I should tag this as parent or not a parent since our relationship is new so if it's wrong I will change it.

Thank you in advance

Edit: Thank you to everyone who replied and offered their thoughts. You are all absolutely right that something needs to be done. I will try to open the conversation with Alex when I get off work. I think he meant it as a joke since he doesn't seem to think much of it but that still doesn't make it right. So we'll have to sit down about it. My husband, Cam, and I will also need to talk but that's somewhat separate. Thank you for all the advice!