r/AmIOverreacting • u/Nice-Community-4611 • Dec 23 '25

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws am i overreacting??

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so i (21 F) never met my dad since i was born and last month he reached out to me the first time over instagram. i feel like he has been very pushy to meet up and i told him i’m not trying to rush things. tonight he was asking me questions to get to know me & this was one of the questions.. i never really grew up with a close male figure in my life but isn’t this question weird? i didn’t even answer the question when he asked i just skipped over it. it’s not his or anyone’s business about my first kiss and it’s weird to ask anyway to me.

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29

u/dohlparts Dec 23 '25

Block him. This is extremely weird and fucked up. Don’t talk to him ever again and please show your mom!!!!

1

u/key_knee Dec 23 '25

Show her mom, why?

3

u/I_Aint_No_Punk_Bitch Dec 23 '25

Her PARENT needs to be aware that her bio father is communicating with her and how.

She knows him better than OP. And she's responsible for OP.

-1

u/key_knee Dec 23 '25

She's 21! She's an adult. Certainly her mom may or may not know enough about whatever is up with this dude to be helpful. But the OP Isa legit adult and her mother isn't legally responsible for her.

I asked purely out of curiosity of why so many people are acting like the OP is a child.

2

u/AccordingPair3 Dec 23 '25

You're the one who sounds like a child. Speaking to parents doesn't just end dead when you turn 18. You can still go to them for advice as you would go to colleagues, siblings or friends. The mom is even more useful here than those as she may have context on this dude. Duh.

Wtf does legal responsibility have to do with speaking to someone? 

0

u/key_knee Dec 23 '25

You clearly feel like arguing so, enjoy. As I mentioned, I asked out of pure curiosity, and I explained why I was curious.

2

u/AccordingPair3 Dec 23 '25

I wouldn't be hostile if you weren't running defence for a weirdo (OP's "dad") lol.

Questioning why someone would speak to their possible support system is extremely suss.

0

u/key_knee Dec 23 '25

You just want to hostile. I didn't defend anyone, not once. I asked a question and explained why I asked.

I never once implied that the way her father spoke to her was ok. I wondered if I missed something.

Anyway, have a good one

1

u/I_Aint_No_Punk_Bitch Dec 23 '25

If your children who were abandoned will be dealing with that trauma all their lives, do you decide its not your responsibility to guide them once they are "legally" an adult? 21 year olds are only ĺegal adults on paper. They are not mature and an abandoned child is an abandoned child at any age.

2

u/key_knee Dec 23 '25

No, you're right.

I wanted to understand if the "tell your mom" advice was because people thought the mom was the only one who could address it (as might be the case if the OP was a minor), or what.

I think the tone of my genuine curiosity is likely hard to decipher via text, plus the severity of the issue likely makes it a situation in which I failed to read the room.

I will own that.

2

u/ChickenCasagrande Dec 23 '25

Because her mom might say something like “OMG don’t talk to him, he is very dangerous and that’s why we haven’t seen him in two decades.”

2

u/key_knee Dec 23 '25

Ok, thanks

2

u/I_Aint_No_Punk_Bitch Dec 23 '25

Exactly.

This is so obvious it's astounding how ignorant some of these comments are.

2

u/ChickenCasagrande Dec 23 '25

The kids are home from school for the holiday break.